People | Ascension Lifestyle

03 Aug 2022
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Tips for High Vibe Living

My buddies were asking me how I stay in a continuous high vibe flow, so here goes, my tips for high vibe living …

Never judge yourself around anything. The simple act of judging of yourself will drop you like a stone to the bottom of the vibrational pond.

Love every cell of you and every moment of life. Fall wildly, joyfully in love with life on planet Earth and in the universe that embraces us.

Believe that you are here for more than just a good life. You are a walking legacy of creation that can remake us all.

Walk in awe, breathe in wonder, seek out beauty for your eyes to behold… et voilà, your vibe will skyrocket to whole new horizons.

Know that you are the universe, a source of new’ness, nature bursting into glory, oceans waving hello to the stars. This reframe from you as individual human to collective being is a fabulous way to live, rocking the high vibe into place with you always.

And finally, be up to something wondrously grand, a genius contribution to us all to have life thrive. You’ll discover in the new, high vibe reality that this brings joy, not burdens, to make that grandness come alive in the world.

About the Author:

Soleira Green is a visionary author, quantum coach, ALLchemist & future innovator. She has been creating leading edge breakthroughs in consciousness, quantum evolution, transformation, innovation, intelligence and more over the past 25 years, has written and self-published eleven books, and taught courses all over the world on these topics.

29 Jul 2022
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Why Do We Find Making New Friends so Hard as Adults?

If you’ve ever tried to make new friends as an adult, you’ll probably see why loneliness is at an all-time high. Making new friends feels just plain hard.

In school, making friends can be as simple as going on the monkey bars together. But as adults, making, developing and maintaining friendships can be much more difficult.

This matters, because we need friends. And while old friends are golden, nothing stays the same forever. Old friends move away, or have their time taken up by child-rearing or their careers. Without action, loneliness can quietly grow around you. It’s worth taking seriously, because evidence now suggests chronic loneliness can be lethal – the equivalent impact of 15 cigarettes a day on mortality rates.

It’s not just you, either. In many countries, loneliness is at epidemic proportions. And that was before COVID-19 made it much harder for us to see our friends.

The challenge of trust

Before COVID, around a third of Australians reported feeling at least one episode of loneliness. Since COVID brought widespread disruption to our work and social lives, loneliness has soared. Surveys now find over half (54%) of Australians report experiencing greater loneliness since the start of the pandemic.

As we reach for a new COVID-normal, it’s worth taking stock of your friendships – and assess whether you feel your social life is fine, or could use a little help.

When researchers interviewed adults about making friends in a recent study, the most important challenge cited was a lack of trust. That is, people found it harder to put their trust in someone new and fully invest in them as a friend compared to when they were younger.

Perhaps that’s why many people try to keep their circle of old friends as long as possible, given the trust they may have built up over many years.

Who found it harder? Women were more likely than men to say they didn’t make new friends easily because they struggled to trust others.

So what is it about adulthood? Well, as adults, we have greater self-awareness than children. While that is often a positive, it also means we’re more aware of the risks of being judged by others, of not being liked, of being rejected, and of being hurt. Or perhaps it just means we’ve been through high school and our 20s.

If we’ve had previous rejections as friends or suffered a breach of trust, we may find it harder to be trusting of others in the future. To trust a new friend means opening ourselves up and being vulnerable, just as we do in relationships.

Friendships need time

After the trust issue comes time. “Lack of time” was the second-most common reason people gave after “lack of trust” when asked why they found it hard to make friends as adults.

This won’t be news to many of us. When we have demanding work schedules, very involved family lives or a combination of the two, our time for investing in friendships drops. Even when we meet a promising new friend, it can be hard to carve out time to invest in it. This is a bigger problem for older adults, given most people find their obligations increase with age.

How long does it actually take to make friends? It shouldn’t surprise us that closer friendships take longer to build than casual acquaintances. US researchers have tried to quantify this, estimating it takes roughly 50 hours of shared contact to move from acquaintances to casual friends. To be a close friend? More than 200 hours.

What’s more, the hours you spend together need to be quality. While you may well put in the time with work colleagues, professional interactions don’t count for much. To develop a new friendship, you need personal connection. It doesn’t have to be an intimate conversation to strengthen a friendship. Casual check-ins and joking around can be just as important.

There are many other barriers stopping us from having the friendships we want. This can include having an introverted personality, health barriers, personal insecurities, or maintaining a formal facade and not allowing potential friends in.

Older people are more likely to cite illness and disability as a barrier to socialising, while younger adults are more likely to be stopped by introversion and fears of rejection.

How can we get better at making friends as adults?

It’s entirely possible to overcome these barriers as adults and build meaningful, long-lasting friendships. We don’t have to accept loneliness as inevitable. And while you might think everyone else is having a great social life, remember loneliness is widespread.

So how do you do it?

Build friendships for ten minutes a day

You don’t have to be climbing mountains or bonding intensely over a shared hobby to solidify a new friendship. If you put in ten minutes a day, you can maintain existing friendships and build new ones. Send a text, forward a meme, add to the group chat or give someone a quick call. Don’t get caught up on how much effort, energy and time goes into building friendships. Ten minutes a day may be all you need.

Make the most of any quality time

When you do get to properly spend time with a friend or acquaintance, make the most of it. Avoid distractions if possible, keep Instagram for the couch at home, and be present with your new friend.

Lean into your vulnerability

We’re often scared by the idea of being vulnerable. I think we should embrace it. Remember you are in control of how much you trust and how much you open up. If you struggle with trust, consider sharing personal information slowly, rather than all at once.

Yes, there is a risk in being vulnerable – but there is also the potential to connect on a meaningful level with another person who may very well become a good friend. And that is a fine reward.

Original article here

27 Jul 2022
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This Is What Happens to Your Brain When You Declutter Your Home

For many of us, decluttering serves as a sort of mental palette cleanser. Stressed out? Tidy your apartment. Unfocused and frazzled? Clear the mess on your desk. Down in the dumps? Reorganize your closet for a sense of accomplishment.

It turns out there’s plenty of science behind this sentiment. “Our brains can process information more clearly and efficiently in an organized space,” said Manhattan-based psychotherapist Dana Dorfman. “Human beings like to feel in control of themselves and of their surroundings. We prefer predictable environments that provide a sense of stability and calm.”

A deep clean can also help you let go of certain things—a particularly appealing benefit as we stare down 2020. “Possessions represent the emotions or experiences attached to them,” she adds. “A cluttered or disorganized accumulation of possessions may make it difficult to ‘move on’ from the past or live in the present.”

Whether you’re decluttering to start a new chapter or you simply appreciate an orderly apartment, here’s what you can expect from a mental health perspective.

After One Day

“On day one, people can experience a range of emotions—from overwhelming sadness to relief to invigoration,” notes Dorfman. But no matter what the nature of your project, she adds that you’ll most likely feel energized and motivated as the day progresses. Because organizing involves problem solving and decision-making, people feel a sense of mastery and accomplishment.

While the presence of a mess may overload all of the senses, it impacts the visual field most significantly. “When the visual field is cluttered, the brain must ‘sift through’ everything and weed out the interfering stimuli,” Dorfman explains. “Studies show that people experience a significant decrease in the stress hormone cortisol when items are removed,” helping you to feel more stable, clearheaded, and relaxed as you clean.

After One Week

Believe it or not, you may find yourself looking for your next organizational project after just seven days or so. “System creation can provide ongoing motivation—it builds on itself,” Dorfman notes. “If you design an entryway space equipped with a place for your coat, keys, and bag, you’ve mitigated future misplacements. The sense of mastery and competence prompts the mind to want more.”

With that said, your new lifestyle may take some getting used to, both on a personal and practical level. It can take time for the brain to adapt to a fresh environment and you just might forget where certain items are, for example. But there are additional benefits: “This change may require an updating of one’s self-narrative,” adds Dorfman. “If you’ve always identified as a ‘messy’ person, you may view your habits and capabilities in a new light.”

After Three Months

In addition to feeling less stressed, less overwhelmed, and more in control, sticking to an organizational system may lead to newfound feelings of capability and empowerment. “Conquering a procrastinated task like cleaning may remind a person that the anticipation is usually worse than the reality,” explains Dorfman. “This realization and resulting sense of competence can flow into other areas of your life.”

Above all else, most research indicates that it is simply beneficial to live in a consistently neat and organized space. Any steps you take toward curating a healthy environment for yourself are well worth the effort. That’s one compelling reason to do a deep clean and donate unwanted items before the year’s end.

Original article here

24 Jul 2022
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Burn, Baby, Burn: The New Science of Metabolism

As the director of the Energy Metabolism Laboratory at the USDA Nutrition Center Tufts University, Massachusetts, Susan Roberts has spent much of the past two decades studying ways to fight the obesity epidemic that continues to plague much of the western world.

But time and again, Roberts and other obesity experts around the globe have found themselves faced with a recurring problem. While getting overweight individuals to commit to shedding pounds is often relatively straightforward in the short term, preventing them from regaining the lost weight is much more challenging.

According to the University of Michigan, about 90% of people who lose significant amounts of weight, whether through diets, structured programmes or even drastic steps such as gastric surgery, ultimately regain just about all of it.

Why is this? Scientists believe that the answer lies in the workings of our metabolism, the complex set of chemical reactions in our cells, which convert the calories we eat into the energy our body requires for breathing, maintaining organ functions, and generally keeping us alive.

When someone begins a new diet, we know that metabolism initially drops – because we are suddenly consuming fewer calories, the body responds by burning them at a slower pace, perhaps an evolutionary response to prevent starvation – but what then happens over the following weeks, months, and years, is less clear.

“Does metabolism continue to go down, more than it should,” asks Roberts, “or does it initially go down, and then bounce back? This is an enormously controversial topic, and one that we’re looking to address.”

Over the next three to four years, we may get some answers. Roberts is co-leading a new study, funded by the National Institutes of Health in the US, which will follow 100 individuals over the course of many months as they first lose and then regain weight, measuring everything from energy expenditure to changes in the blood, brain and muscle physiology, to try to see what happens.

The implications for how we tackle obesity could be enormous. If metabolism drops and continues to stay low during weight loss, it could imply that dieting triggers innate biological changes that eventually compel us to eat more. If it rebounds to normal levels, this suggests that weight regain is due to the recurrence of past bad habits, with social and cultural factors tempting us to go back to overeating.

“If someone’s metabolism really drops during weight loss and doesn’t recover, it shows we have to put all of our money on preventing weight gain in the first place,” says Roberts. “Because once it’s happened, you’re doomed. If metabolism rebounds, it means that the lessons about eating less because you’ve now got a smaller body haven’t been learned effectively. So we might need to encourage people who have lost weight to see psychologists to work on habit formation. These are such different conclusions that we really need to get it right.”

This is just one of many ways in which our understanding of metabolism is evolving. In recent years, many of the traditional assumptions, which had long been accepted as truth – that exercise can ramp up metabolism, that metabolism follows a steady decline from your 20s onwards – have been challenged. For scientists at the forefront of this field, these answers could go on to change many aspects of public health.

The age myth

In mid-August, a paper emerged in the journal Science that appeared to challenge one of metabolism’s universal truths. For decades, scientists have accepted that metabolism begins to slow down in early adulthood, initiating a steady descent that continues through middle age and later life, inevitably resulting in the phenomenon known as “middle-aged spread”.

But this may not actually be true. Over the past few years, Herman Pontzer, an associate professor of evolutionary anthropology at Duke University, North Carolina, and more than 80 other scientists have compiled data from more than 6,400 individuals – from eight days to 95 years old – that shows something very different.

It appears that between the ages of 20 and 60 our metabolism stays almost completely stable, even during major hormonal shifts such as pregnancy and menopause. Based on the new data, a woman of 50 will burn calories just as effectively as a woman of 20.

Instead, there are just two major life shifts in our metabolism, with the first occurring between one and 15 months old. The Science study showed that infants burn energy at such a rate to support their development that their metabolism at one year old is more than 50% higher than an adult’s. The second transition takes place at about the age of 60, when our metabolism begins to drop again, continuing to do so until we die.

“For much of your life, your body’s kind of chugging along on a trajectory for how busy your cells are going to be,” says Pontzer. “Your cells are following a roadmap, and it’s very hard to bump them off that roadmap.”

So what does this mean? Much of the ageing process, and the commonly observed middle-aged weight gain, is not because of declining metabolism but genetics, hormone changes and lifestyle factors such as stress, sleep, smoking and, perhaps most crucially, diet. Pontzer argues that if the calories we burn stay largely the same throughout life, then the real source of obesity has to be the amount we’re eating, and particularly the heavy consumption of highly processed foods.

Over the years, one of the main marketing tools used to promote different exercise regimes and wellness supplements has been claims that they boost your metabolism. Pontzer says that this is mostly nonsense.

Studies that have compared indigenous tribes of hunter-gatherers in northern Tanzania – who walk an average of 19,000 steps a day – with sedentary populations in Europe and the US have found that their total number of calories burned is largely the same. Other studies looking at whether metabolism changes if you put a mouse on an exercise regime, or comparing non-human primates living in a zoo or the rainforest, have found a similar pattern.

Some scientists believe that this is because the body is programmed to keep its average daily energy expenditure within a defined range. While there are day-to-day fluctuations, the body still burns the same number of calories overall, but it adjusts how they are used, depending on our lifestyle. To explain the theory, Pontzer gives the example of a keen amateur cyclist who takes part in 100km bike rides at weekends. Overall, that individual still won’t burn more calories on average than a sedentary person, but their average energy expenditure will be skewed towards providing fuel for the muscles. The sedentary person will burn a similar number of calories, but on background bodily functions which we do not notice, including less healthy outlets such as producing inflammation and stress.

“I think there is a deep evolutionary reason to this,” says Pontzer. “In the industrialised world, burning more energy than you eat would be great, but in the wild, that’s a bad strategy. The reason we’re gaining weight is not only because there’s more food available than we have evolved to expect, but because they’re modern, industrialised foods, designed to be overeaten. So you’ve got this perfect storm for making people obese.”

But these new findings on metabolism are not only changing our understanding of how to tackle obesity: they have ramifications across the world of medicine. Given that metabolism slows markedly beyond the age of 60, doctors now need to know whether older adults should receive slightly different medicinal doses, while the research will prompt questions about the connection between a slower metabolism and the onset of chronic disease in older adults.

Individual differences

While the Science paper illustrated general population trends for metabolism across the age spectrum, we still know relatively little about individual differences, and what they might represent. Do babies with a particularly rapid metabolism develop quicker and in a better way? And do variations in the environment in which they grow up, such as social deprivation, mean that they have a slightly slower metabolism than their peers?

This is all speculation for now, but scientists know that metabolism can still vary significantly from one person to another, even after you account for factors such as size and body composition. We still don’t know exactly why this variation occurs, but there are thought to be a whole range of factors, from genetics to organ sizes, the immune system, and even the species of bacteria in their gut microbiome.

Even with the latest digital technologies, it is very difficult for people to track their own metabolic rate. Pontzer says this is because none of the current apps on the market can account for individual differences in resting metabolic rate.

However, one of the key questions is whether these variations can confer susceptibility to disease, especially illnesses linked to metabolic dysfunction such as cancer and type 2 diabetes. “There are so many metabolic health conditions,” says Eric Ravussin, director of the Nutrition Obesity Research Center at the Pennington Biomedical Research Centre in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. “These are influenced by your diet and your weight. As you gain weight, you’re more likely to have hypertension, you’re more likely to have inflammation.”

A whole variety of startups around the world are now investigating ways of using our knowledge of metabolism to assist with developing personalised treatment programmes. Because our gut microbes play such a crucial role in energy metabolism, by breaking down the food we eat, dysfunctional imbalances in the gut microbiome have been linked to the development of a number of metabolic illnesses.

Oslo-based Bio-Me is profiling the gut microbiomes of patients with type 2 diabetes, coeliac disease, inflammatory bowel disease and certain types of cancer, using DNA sequencing of faecal samples to identify the exact species of bacteria present in their intestines. It can then compare that information with existing microbiome data on that group of patients, available in population biobanks, and use this to predict dietary regimes or treatment interventions that could be particularly beneficial for those individuals.

Bio-Me CEO Morten Isaksen says that this can be used to predict whether common medications, such as the diabetes drug metformin, will work well for that particular patient. “It was discovered that metformin only works because the gut bacteria change the medicine into its active form,” says Isaksen. “So if you don’t have the right bacteria in the gut, the medicine won’t work. So knowing which bacteria are present is really important for identifying the right treatments.”

Because dysfunctional cell metabolism is central to cancer, determining how tumours form, as well as how fast they grow and spread, indications of metabolic dysfunction could be used for early diagnosis of certain cancers. The Stockholm-based biotech firm Elypta is trialling a system that detects small molecules, known as metabolites, which are produced by kidney cancer cells. In future, this could be used as part of a liquid biopsy for the disease.

“Once cancer cells begin to proliferate, what really changes is the metabolic requirements, compared with healthy cells,” says Francesco Gatto, co-founder of Elypta. “So we think we can use this layer of information from metabolism, to help identify multiple types of cancer early in a non-invasive manner.”

Pontzer is now planning to follow up the Science study by delving further into the extremes of metabolism, both in the young and the old. “We’re going to try to look at that variability both in very young children and the over-60s,” he says. “We want to try to understand whether in people whose metabolism is changing more or less, or faster or slower, does that predict anything about their health or how their bodies develop? Or maybe it’s not related at all. So we’re going to try to find out these things.”

Original story here

20 Jul 2022
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A tale of two realities …

Yes, I know there are many realities, but let’s just for a moment distinguish them as two … normal reality and NEW reality.

In “normal” reality …

We garner as much knowledge as we can from the pool of current collective understanding.
We have reactions and sometimes feel powerless to effect the change we’d love to see spring forth in the world.
We work to find out who we are, to discover a greater sense of purpose and to make a difference with our lives.

In NEW reality …

There’s a grand relationship with the Universe, the Earth, Nature, Forests, Oceans, Animals, Stars and more.
There’s a sense of being in sync with Life which brings deep stirrings of new breakthrough ways to see the world and evoke the power to elevate us all.
The pulses and powers of the Universe flow through you with breath-taking awe.
You know you are the source of what is yet to come for us all.
You become an ALLchemist, evoking possibilities that shape a brilliant future for this world.
You make friends with the miraculous and discover that the impossible is possible.
You love yourself so spectacularly that you don’t even care about finding out who you are because you’re constantly in a state of quantum becoming, reveling in the infinite possibilities of yourself and all life.

To move from normal reality to NEW reality is simple actually, no more complicated than raising your vibration to match the universal power flows that are itching to come your way.

Do this and the world suddenly appears awesomely different to you. You see with fresh eyes. Magic fills your life and the miraculous floods your every cell, awakening you to just how brilliant life on Earth can truly be.

You become a creator of the NEW, sharing the enchantment while pouring yourself wildly into the joy-filled creation of a brand new world where all life thrives and soars.

About the Author:

18 Jul 2022
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How To Live Sustainably As A Renter

Small changes go a long way in creating a healthier planet for years to come. Whether you rent an apartment or an entire house, there are several ways you can lead a more sustainable lifestyle.

Thankfully, you don’t have to live off-grid or have a solar roof to reduce your environmental impact. In fact, renting a space is the perfect chance to build eco-friendly habits and make sustainability your main priority.

Here are seven ways to be a more eco-conscious renter.

1. Save More Energy

You can improve your unit’s energy efficiency with only a few steps.

A draft blocker is a great way to keep unwanted hot or cold air coming in through windowsills or doorways. You can even make one yourself by recycling an old shirt or pair of pants. Simply cut the fabric to match the length of the doorway, sew it into a tube shape, stuff it with stuffing or other cloth and stitch it closed. Preventing drafts from creeping in will reduce your need to run the air conditioner or heater.

Wearing the right clothes for the weather is another simple way to improve temperature comfortability. A sweater may not be the best attire if it’s midsummer. Likewise, you’ll want to use a blanket and wear socks during the winter to prevent a chill.

Additionally, the average American family uses 40 gallons of water daily, with showers accounting for 17%. Save water by taking shorter showers or changing an old showerhead to a water-conserving model.

Laundering your clothes only when you’ve accumulated enough for a full load is another way to save energy and decrease water consumption. Also, make a conscious effort to use cold water, since running hot water uses more power.

2. Buy Secondhand Or Sustainable Décor

Decorative tastes change over time, and you may feel tempted to purchase new furniture when you relocate to a different apartment. However, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency reported that furniture waste reached 12.1 million tons in 2018 — about 4.1% of the nation’s total landfilled solid waste.

If you’re tired of your rental unit’s current look, spruce up the space with reclaimed pieces or sustainable home essentials instead. Thrift stores, antique malls, local markets and e-marketplaces are excellent sources for used furniture and quality decor at an affordable price.

Otherwise, look for new items made from sustainable materials and read up on brands before buying. Some furniture pieces may be certified by the Forest Stewardship Council (FSC), meaning wood products have met stringent environmental standards during harvesting and throughout the supply chain.

3. Build A Local Share Community

Minimize your environmental impact by creating a local share community, which is a trade economy of goods and services.

For example, community members may share appliances, devices, exercise equipment, laundry machines, ingredients, clothing or anything else you can think of. A few suggestions to make this economic model work to your advantage include the following:

Create a forum — WhatsApp, Facebook group, etc. — where building residents and neighbors can reach out for assistance or ask to borrow an item.
Ask your local share community if you can add a few grocery items to someone’s shopping list to save on transportation emissions.
Create a book swap or secondhand library in your building.
Host donation drives for various items or activities, such as board games, for others to use.

Get to know the residents of your building by introducing yourself to others within common areas. You’re bound to find someone interested in creating a local share community with you.

4. Reduce Food Waste By Recycling And Composting

The U.S. Department of Agriculture reports that the United States wastes about 30%-40% of the food supply at the consumer and retail levels. However, you can play a critical role in helping the U.S. meet its goal of minimizing 50% of its food waste by 2030.

Although your rental space may be limited, ensure you have two bins in your kitchen to make separating trash from recyclables easier. You might also decide to build a small compost box on your balcony for leftover scraps.

Starting a meal-prepping routine is another great way to reduce food waste while renting. It prevents needing to throw away rotten ingredients by using all of the week’s groceries in your recipes right away.

5. Switch To LEDs

Swapping out incandescent lightbulbs for energy-efficient light-emitting diodes (LEDs) is an affordable and easy upgrade for a greener apartment or rental property.

LEDs typically consume about 75% less energy than traditional incandescent bulbs, with an end-of-life cycle that lasts 30 times longer. Consider adding LEDs to the following light products:

Chandeliers
Ceiling fan lights
Lamps
Appliances
Under-cabinet lighting
Pantry lighting
Recessed lights
Holiday lights

It may not seem like a significant switch, but LEDs are an eco-friendly initiative you can take to live more sustainably as a renter or tenant.

6. Go Green With Plants

An apartment probably won’t come with a backyard for a garden. However, you should still consider adding a few indoor plants to improve air quality and create a more natural aesthetic.

A recent study found that indoor plants, such as peace lilies, corn plants and fern arums, can reduce nitrogen dioxide pollutants by 20% in small spaces.

If you’re lucky enough to have a balcony attached to your unit, you can also add potted plants to grow fresh produce or herbs.

Space might be limited, of course — so get creative with flower boxes, smaller pots on your windowsill or a vertical garden on a wall. Even better, if you start composting, you can use the soil to grow your plants.

7. Speak To Your Landlord

You might pay the rent, but your landlord ultimately maintains control. As such, living more sustainably in your rental may require you to speak to them about your concerns.

Educate your landlord about generating greater energy efficiency with eco-friendly appliances and upgraded heating and cooling systems. For example, an older building may have outdated pipes or electrical wiring and need frequent maintenance. They may be keener to make improvements after you explain how advanced technologies can help save them money on repairs and enhance the building’s energy use.

Your landlord may not always see eye-to-eye with you or make any changes, but you can at least rest assured that you did your part in broaching the subject. However, a good landlord will be open-minded toward your suggestions and aim to implement positive changes.

Living in a rental unit or home doesn’t mean you can’t have a greener lifestyle. There are plenty of ways to make your place more eco-friendly and develop a sustainable community with fellow renters.

Original article here

13 Jul 2022
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10 Things Incredibly Likable People Never, Ever Do (and Why You Love Them for It)

Some people are incredibly likable because of the things they do. Some people are incredibly charismatic because of the things they do.

And some people are incredibly likable because of the things they don’t do.

If you know someone who possesses the following qualities, share this with them—and also tell them how much you appreciate the fact they are in your life.

1. They don’t blame.

Friends make mistakes. Employees don’t meet your expectations. Vendors don’t deliver on time.

So you blame them for your problems.

But you’re also to blame. Maybe you didn’t provide enough training. Maybe you didn’t build in enough of a buffer. Maybe you asked too much, too soon. Maybe you weren’t as good a friend as you could have been.

Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn’t masochistic; it’s empowering, because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time.

And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.

2. They don’t control.

Yeah, you’re the boss. Yeah, you’re the titan of industry. Yeah, you’re the small tail that wags a huge dog.

Still, the only thing you really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other people, you’ve decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your opinions are more important than theirs.

Plus, control is short term at best, because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure—none of those let you feel good about yourself.

Find people who want to go where you’re going. They’ll work harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships.

And all of you will be happier.

3. They don’t try to impress.

No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all “things.” People may like your things, but that doesn’t mean they like you.

Sure, superficially they might seem to, but superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship.

Genuine relationships make you happier, and you’ll form genuine relationships only when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.

4. They don’t cling.

When you’re afraid or insecure, you hold on tightly to what you know, even if what you know isn’t particularly good for you.

An absence of fear or insecurity isn’t happiness; it’s just an absence of fear or insecurity.

Holding on to what you think you need won’t make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to earn what you want will.

Even if you don’t succeed in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about yourself.

5. They don’t interrupt.

Interrupting isn’t just rude. When you interrupt someone, what you’re really saying is, “I’m not listening to you so I can understand what you’re saying; I’m listening to you so I can decide what I want to say.”

Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say.

They’ll love you for it—and you’ll love how that makes you feel.

6. They don’t whine.

Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better.

If something is wrong, don’t waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better. Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you’ll have to do that. So why waste time? Fix it now.

Don’t talk about what’s wrong. Talk about how you’ll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself.

And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don’t be just the shoulder they cry on.

Friends don’t let friends whine. Friends help friends make their lives better.

7. They don’t criticize.

Yeah, you’re more educated. Yeah, you’re more experienced. Yeah, you’ve been around more blocks and climbed more mountains and slayed more dragons.

That doesn’t make you smarter, or better, or more insightful.

That just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind—but in the end, just you.

Just like everyone else.

Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and you’ll see people—and yourself—in a better light.

8. They don’t preach.

The higher you rise and the more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything and to tell people everything you think you know.

When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may hear you but they don’t listen.

And they don’t want to be around you.

9. They don’t live in the past.

The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.

Then let it go.

Easier said than done? (Even Troy Aikman struggles with this, but in a really good way.) It depends on your focus. When something bad happens to you, see that as a chance to learn something you didn’t know. When another person makes a mistake, see that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.

The past is just training; it doesn’t define you. Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how you will make sure that, next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it goes right.

10. They don’t let fear hold them back.

We’re all afraid, of what might or might not happen, of what we can’t change, or what we won’t be able to do, or how other people might perceive us.

So it’s easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment, to decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives.

Meanwhile days, weeks, months, and even years pass us by.

And so do our dreams.

Don’t let your fears hold you back. Whatever you’ve been planning, whatever you’ve imagined, whatever you’ve dreamed of, get started on it today.

If you want to start a business, take the first step. If you want to change careers, take the first step. If you want to expand or enter a new market or offer new products or services, take the first step.

Put your fears aside and get started. Do something. Do anything.

Otherwise, today is gone. Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever.

Today is the most precious asset you own—and is the one thing you should truly fear … wasting.

Original article here

09 Jul 2022
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How Stress Hits Women’s Brains Harder—and Why Men Don’t Always Get It

If you’ve been stressed out and ignoring it—isn’t everyone stressed right now?— it could be time to do something about it. That’s because even though you may be basically healthy, tension is doing its stealthy damage. The latest evidence? Researchers have linked high levels of the stress hormone cortisol to brain shrinkage and impaired memory in healthy middle-aged adults. And get this: The effect was more pronounced in women than in men.

This research underscores an important point. Though stress affects your whole body, ground zero is your brain. It’s not just the effects of cortisol—it’s that teeth-grinders like traffic jams, personal snubs, and financial worries are perceived and interpreted by your gray matter. Fortunately, research focused on the brain is pointing to new, more effective ways to reduce your tension.

But first, let’s drill down and see how and why your brain’s natural reactions make you more vulnerable to the zings and arrows of tension.

How Stress Affects Your Brain

Aspects of the brain’s design that served us well thousands of years ago now make us susceptible to negative emotions and mental fatigue, both of which ratchet up our stress, says Amit Sood, M.D., professor of medicine at the Mayo Clinic and founder of the Mayo Clinic Resilience Program. Although our brains have evolved over time, “the speed of life today is the main stressor—it’s much faster than our brain’s ability to adapt,” he says. And that means we often end up with too little time and too few resources to address what life throws at us each day, which adds to a diminishing sense of control over our lives. Perceived lack of control has been shown to be a huge source of stress.

In his book Mindfulness Redesigned for the Twenty-First Century, Dr. Sood describes a number of traps that frequently ensnare our brains. Three of the most challenging:

Focus Problems

When giant predators roamed Earth, a scanning, outward-directed focus served us well—but today that focus is directed inward. Now, 80 percent of the time, our minds are wandering, stuck in an unfocused state even if we’re not aware of it.

Studies have found that this state makes us less happy, and the unhappier we are, the more our attention wanders and our thoughts pile up. It’s like having a huge set of open files on your computer, Dr. Sood says, only they’re in your brain, distracting you and demanding attention. Our tech dependence, a source of constant distraction, adds to our inability to focus.

Fear

Our survival depends on the ability of the brain (mostly the amygdala) to detect physical and emotional threats. Moments or events that elicit fear raise our heart rate, which the brain stores as information that might protect us from future danger. This so-called negativity bias makes us prone to paying more attention to bad news than to good. We readily remember bad things that happen to us because our brains also release hormones that strengthen those specific memories, and this further embeds them in our minds. The result? More stress.

Fatigue

While a number of body organs (e.g., the heart and the kidneys) can keep going like the Energizer bunny, the brain is not one of them. After working hard, it needs rest. The more boring and intense an activity is, the faster your brain will grow tired—and that can happen in as little as four minutes or as much as an hour or two. You can tell when your brain is fatigued (it has to signal this indirectly, since it has no pain receptors) because your eyes feel tired and stuff happens—you start making errors, become inefficient, lose your willpower, or see a dip in your mood. Brain fatigue leads to stress, and stress leads to fatigue, in a continuous closed loop.

Why Stress Hits Women Harder Than Men

Stress almost seems to have it out for women. In an annual survey by the American Psychological Association, women have repeatedly reported higher levels of tension than men and sometimes even more stress-related physical and emotional symptoms, including headache, upset stomach, fatigue, irritability, and sadness.

What’s more, midlife women have been found to experience more stressful events than both men and women of any other age, reports an ongoing study by the University of Wisconsin-Madison’s Institute on Aging. Stress overload may even lead to chronic disease: Long-term pressures at home and work plus stress from traumatic events almost doubles the risk of type 2 diabetes in older women, according to a recent study at the University of California, San Francisco. Women are also more prone to stress-induced mental health problems such as depression and anxiety disorders.

Here’s the why of it: A triple whammy makes women uniquely vulnerable to strain and pressure, says Dr. Sood. First, women’s brains make them more sensitive than men to stressors and a perceived lack of control. The limbic areas of women’s brains, which help control emotions and memories, are highly active, making them remember hurts and slights more readily. Stewing over these and having difficulty letting them go strengthens the brain circuits of those negative emotions—another example of the negativity bias at work—which also increases women’s stress.

In addition, the multiple demands of parenting and being in charge of the well-being of the household mean that women’s focus tends to be more diffuse. And an unfocused brain, as noted earlier, is another source of stress. A mom’s protective radar is always up for her kids too, which makes her sense a threat more quickly, and she’s more likely than her husband to get stuck and dwell on it, says Dr. Sood.

What Men Don’t Always Get

The differences in how men and women experience tension don’t play out in isolation, of course. They affect how husbands and wives, friends, and work colleagues experience and interpret the world—and yes, often the result is conflict. If you’re a woman, think of a time you had an upsetting disagreement with your boss. When you vented to your husband about it—how your boss looked at you, what she said, how you responded, how you felt, what she said next—maybe you saw his eyes glaze over, and maybe he said, “It’s over now; why don’t you just let it go and talk to her tomorrow?” Which made you feel hurt, angry, and dismissed—and depending on which feeling was uppermost, you either escalated the conversation into an argument or retreated to mull it over.

New studies are looking at how the genders process stress in the moment and coming up with reasons for the disconnect. Recently, using fMRI to measure brain activity, researchers at the Yale University School of Medicine found that while imagining a personalized, highly stressful event, the action- and planning-oriented parts of men’s brains were actively engaged, while women’s brains were busy visualizing and also cognitively and emotionally processing the experience.

In the second part of the study, when men and women were experiencing intense anxiety, brain regions that were active in women were inactive in men. This suggests that women tend to get caught up in processing their stress, turning it over and over in their minds and reimagining it, says Rajita Sinha, Ph.D., director of the Yale Interdisciplinary Stress Center.

“Women cope by talking about being anxious and describing their emotions and stressors,” she says. This could put them at risk for ruminating about the issues. Men seem not to access that cognitive-processing part of their brains and “are more likely to quickly think about doing something, taking an action, as opposed to expressing their distress verbally. It’s just the difference in the way we’re wired.”

That might explain why women tend to provide emotional support to someone who is stressed, whereas men might offer advice or something tangible like money or physical help. Ironically, what both genders want is emotional support when they’re tense, says Jennifer Priem, Ph.D., associate professor of communication at Wake Forest University. So men and women who are stressed out prefer to get support from women.

Bridging the Gender Stress Gap

Priem has found that problems arise between couples when each person has a different perception of what’s stressful. The result: When people are really tense, their partners aren’t necessarily motivated to offer support if they think, If I were in this situation, I wouldn’t consider it that big a deal. So how do you get the response you want when you need it?

Ask your partner to just listen

“That’s number one—listening to and validating the other person’s feelings,” says Sinha. “So even just saying ‘You’re really frustrated by this’ in a nonjudgmental way is validating and will ease someone’s anxiety.”

Explain that you feel defensive when he dismisses your experience

“When a partner downplays the significance of something, the person who’s stressed may hold on to it more or feel they have to convince the other person it’s true and that they have a right to feel that way,” says Priem. “You might say, ‘I’m really upset right now, and I feel frustrated when it seems you’re making light of my feelings. It would make me feel better if you’d be more responsive to the fact that I’m upset, even if you don’t understand it.’”

Treat yourself with compassion

“Women tend to be more self-critical about not being able to control their emotions,” says Sinha. So they may see a partner’s comment as judgmental even when he didn’t mean it that way. If that’s the case, forgive yourself and let it go—and hug it out, which can reduce tension and boost positive feelings.

Learning to negotiate conflicts is a big step in easing pressures. Also important: figuring out strategies to deal with the distractions, fears, and fatigue your brain naturally accumulates (see below for four smart ones). These can help you take stress in stride, with a terrific payoff: better health and greater happiness, plus a more resilient brain.

How to Control Stress and Calm Your Brain

To keep stress in check, you should of course be eating healthfully, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep to improve your mood, emotions, and cognition. But those are just the basics—and they’re not always easy to accomplish, especially when life is throwing lots of tension your way. Dr. Sood has advice that can up your stress-reducing game, based on the successful resilience program he runs at the Mayo Clinic. Here, four of his brain-focused, research-based strategies that work in just minutes a day.

Give your brain some RUM

That stands for Rest, Uplifting emotions, and Motivation. You need all three to help energize your brain and head off fatigue. So when you’re engaged in a task, take three to five minutes every couple of hours (or sooner, if you start getting fidgety) and pause for RUM.

How-to: Get up from your computer, or stop what you’re doing, and look at photos of your kids or of your favorite vacation spot, read inspiring quotes, text or call a friend, or watch a happy short video. Choose an activity that makes you feel good and is motivating.

Begin a morning gratitude practice

Take control of your brain before it gets hijacked by the day’s concerns and greet the morning in a happier, more connected frame of mind.

How-to: When you first wake up, before you get out of bed, spend a few minutes thinking of some people who care about you and silently send them your gratitude. Another reason it’s a good idea: A recent study found that anticipating a stressful day when you first wake up affects your working memory later that day—even if nothing stressful actually happens. (Working memory is what helps you learn things and retain them even when you’re distracted.)

Be mindfully present

Meditation is a great stress reliever, but not everyone can sit still, looking inward, for 20-plus minutes. Good news for the fidgety: Research has shown that focusing your attention outward engages the same brain network, so you can get similar stress-easing benefits by consciously giving the world your attention.

How-to: Challenge yourself to be curious and notice details—the color of the barista’s eyes at the coffee shop, the pattern of your boss’s necktie, which flowers are blooming in your neighborhood. Curiosity feeds the brain’s reward network, which makes you feel good; it also augments memory and learning.

Focus on kindness

Even the nicest among us are quick to judge others, especially if they’re different from us (thank the amygdala, a region of the brain that interprets difference as a threat).

How-to: To calm the amygdala, focus on two things when you’re feeling judgy about someone: that every person is special, and that everyone has struggles. Start a practice of sending silent good wishes to people you pass on the street or in the halls at work. The benefits for you: Your oxytocin, the hormone of connectedness, rises; your heart rate slows; and you feel more benevolent. All of which makes you healthier and happier.

Original article here

05 Jul 2022
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The Keys to Self Mastery

Self-regulation, within the space of wellbeing, is actually emotional self-regulation. In other words, the capacity of managing our emotions on a daily basis. During the day, we experience a range of different emotions, from joy, love, and peace to anger, frustration, anxiety — and the way we respond to events will determine our state of being. The important point here is that we have a choice, we always have a choice: we can choose to give free rein to negative emotions and dwell on them, or we can choose to acknowledge these emotions, find a solution, and move on.

In my opinion, free will is the faculty of choosing what is best for us. Now, here is when we can start talking about self-mastery, because there is a slight difference between self-regulation and self-mastery.

What is self-mastery? According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, self-mastery is the ability to control one’s own desires or impulses. However, when we are talking about consciousness, the meaning of self-mastery becomes a bit broader, because it also means to have the ability to act in certain challenging situations in a controlled manner, peacefully and harmoniously. There are many techniques out there to help us with this process, because it really is a process. Self-mastery is not something that you are born with, it is a quality that you acquire through your life’s journey, and many of us never get it completely.

The first step to self-mastery is actually acknowledging that there is such a thing. People in general are pretty good at controlling themselves, at self-regulating themselves, but when it comes to basic emotions like anger, for example, only a few can say that whatever the situation they are in, they are able to remain calm and composed. Therefore, first we need to incorporate into our vocabulary the word self-mastery, and comprehend and experience its meaning.

The second step is to practice self-regulation to get closer to self-mastery, which is not an easy task. How do we do this?

There are a few steps you can take, for example:

breathe deeply when confronting a difficult situation
count to 10 to calm yourself
go outside to get fresh air
close your eyes for a while
feel your heart beating and try to pace it, etc.

Now, you can certainly try all of these easy actions and not see results, or maybe you can find one or two that work, but not all the time. In these instances, keep trying until you find what is best for you.

The third step is when consciousness comes into play. When I say “consciousness” I am talking about that inner awareness of being more than flesh, being part of something larger, where we are one and unique, where there is peace and there is freedom. As conscious beings we know that our inner self plays a role in our wellbeing, and if we are able to go to that internal place, then we can receive the benefits of understanding that everything comes from within and that we are in charge of our own life.

Several tools give us the power of self-mastery. The regular practice of meditation or any other techniques that awaken and elevate our consciousness will make our life in this physical field more masterful. The idea and intention is to become little Buddhas, remaining calm and composed in the face of adversity — and in happy times, too.

Find our own unique way to connect with the Source. You might call it Spirit, the Great Architect, Archetypal One, Origin, whatever you prefer, because when we are wired to those realms of consciousness we experience deep inner peace and harmony and we become co-creators, together with the Source. We then are attuned to the fields of superior perfection.

Let’s recap:

Acknowledge that self-mastery is not only a concept, it is a way of being.
Practice self-regulation techniques, which get you closer to self-mastery.
Be aware of being more than a body, and that everything comes from within.
Find a way to connect with the Source and co-create your daily life from this connection.

Through practice and discipline, we can face any situation in a state of inner peace and calmness. Sure, from time to time we might forget that we are here to learn to create with love, and that self-mastery is the most important component of this learning. However, I can assure you that if we are able to pause, rethink and change our ways of reacting, sooner than later we will achieve self-mastery and accelerate our process of ascension.

About the Author:

Veronica Sanchez De Darivas is Chilean-Australian, now living in the UK and a proud mother of teenage twins. A spiritual awakening teacher, bestselling author, pineal gland (third eye) activator and Certified Instructor for the Cyclopea Method, Veronica is currently the only instructor in the world teaching the Cyclopea Method in English.

01 Jul 2022
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Sleep: The Best and Worst Foods to Eat Before Bed

There are a number of different factors in your day-to-day life that can make it difficult to get to sleep, from stress to our central heating. People are reporting sleep disturbances more than ever: the average person is losing two hours of sleep a night and 37% of people in Britain are sleep deprived, according to 2021 research from fitness tech brand Zepp.

But what if we told you that the answer could lie in something much more simple than lavender sprays and supplements? When it comes to getting a good night’s sleep, your diet can play a huge role. Studies, including a 2016 paper from Columbia University, have found that our dietary patterns and consumption of specific foods can have a significant impact on our sleep quality, with some foods having the potential to really disrupt our time snoozing.

Certified Health Education Specialist Brielle Merchant and Dr Aishah Iqbal both know just how important sleep is, and how much our eating habits can affect it. So we asked them for their expert insights into the link between diet and sleep, what you can eat to ensure you sleep well – and what foods are most likely to disrupt your rest.

How Important Is Diet to Good Sleeping Habits?

As Brielle explains, “eating well balanced meals supports your body’s pathways when regulating your hormones”, some of which “impact how much sleep you get and how well you sleep”. This means that eating foods containing nutrients that support sleep – and in the right amounts – is crucial to ensuring you are able to drift off when your head hits the pillow.

It works the other way too, with your sleep impacting your food choices. Both of these factors can influence your energy levels throughout the day. So, Brielle recommends “trying to keep a consistent sleeping and eating pattern, so that they are able to work together to supply your body with energy”.

When and How Much Should You Eat in the Evening?

Dr Iqbal explains that “there is growing evidence to suggest that the time you eat can impact your circadian rhythm”, also known as your sleep-wake cycle. As a result, eating too close to when you go to bed can potentially impact your sleep routine, and so “it’s best to eat earlier in the evening, allowing yourself a couple of hours to digest your meal before going to sleep”.

However, there is no hard and fast rule for when you should be eating. As Brielle explains, “it’s important to listen to your body and how you feel, so aim to feel satisfied when you eat in the evening, but not stuffed or hungry. It all depends on what works well for you”.

What Are Some of the Worst Foods to Eat Before You Sleep?

Some ingredients may not always be a good idea to eat close to bedtime due to their energising nature. Both Brielle and Dr Iqbal particularly warn against the consumption of caffeine too late in the day, “because it stimulates the brain and gives you energy, thus keeping you awake”, says Brielle.

Foods high in sugar can also be stimulating for the body and mind. As Dr Iqbal explains, they “heighten arousal and give you a dopamine hit, which keeps you feeling alert”.

According to Brielle, some foods cause disrupted sleep simply because they take longer for the body to digest. If you’re struggling with your sleep, try to stay away from heavy proteins in your evening meals, and minimise the high-fat foods which require longer to be broken down.

Foods to avoid

Coffee
Tea (especially those high in caffeine)
High protein foods (red meats, whey shakes)
High sugar snacks (sweets, fizzy drinks)

What Foods Will Help You Get a Good Night’s Sleep?

Brielle explains that kiwis are excellent sleep aids. In fact, “in a study, participants who started consuming kiwis regularly before bed were able to fall asleep 42% faster” than they did before. Foods high in melatonin are great as well, because melatonin is the hormone that helps to regulate your circadian rhythm. Dr Iqbal recommends cherries and nuts such as walnuts and almonds as good sources of this crucial hormone.

Fatty fish such as salmon and tuna are a good option for your evening meal. They are a great source of vitamin D and omega 3 fatty acids, “which help to regulate serotonin, the hormone that is responsible for maintaining sleep”, explains Brielle. Milk contains vitamin D, too, as well as tryptophan, “both of which have been linked to supporting sleep”.

Other minerals, such as magnesium, have also been shown to support your sleep cycle and send you into a deep sleep. Foods such as spinach, nuts, salmon and banana are high in the mineral and great to be included throughout your day to maintain levels.

Foods to eat

Kiwi fruit
Cherries and tart cherry juice
Nuts (try to go for unsalted varieties)
Salmon, tuna and other oily fish
Milk
Spinach
Bananas

Original article here