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How To Be Spiritual In A Material World
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09 Sep 2022
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How to say the unsayable: 10 ways to approach a sensitive, daunting conversation

There’s a conversation you’re avoiding. It feels important, the stakes are high, there are strong feelings involved and you are putting it off: “The time isn’t right”; “I can’t find the words”; “I don’t want to get emotional”.

But delaying doesn’t solve anything and anticipation is often far more uncomfortable than the conversation itself. Getting started might involve some awkward moments, but, after that, the situation is open for discussion and exploration.

Tried and tested approaches can help to smooth the way. Here are 10 useful tips from my experience as a psychotherapist and doctor, developed while working in some of the highest-stakes discussions – the tender conversations taking place as people face the end of life. These principles apply whether you are chatting in person, over the phone or during a video call. You can even use them in text message conversations.

Instead of “difficult” conversations, I call them “tender” – and that attitude can make all the difference.

Invite, don’t insist

Make sure the conversation is a shared endeavour by starting with an invitation, rather than launching straight in. Try something like: “I’ve got something on my mind I’d like to chat about. When would be a good time for you?” or “You seem worried about something and I wondered whether you’d like to talk about it some time?” They may agree to talk there and then. If there’s a delay, check you are not leaving them anxious about the discussion. Inviting the other person allows them to consider and to prepare.

Being prepared also applies if someone catches you off-guard: it’s fine to say, “This is really important and I need some time to think before we have this conversation.”

Pace yourself

Important conversations can go wrong if participants talk themselves to exhaustion. Plan to chat for 10 minutes, or agree to press pause at a particular point, ready to return to the conversation later. Remember, too, that sick or recently bereaved people have limited energy.

When you reach a good stopping point, say something like: “There’s lots to talk about. Shall we leave it there and chat again tomorrow/next week?”

Listen to understand

The most effective discussions are when we listen carefully to the other person and try to understand. Instead of working out what to say next while the other person is speaking, just listen. Have you listened well enough to say it back to them? Check your understanding by repeating what you heard with empathy, starting with something like: “Have I got this right? You feel …”

Repeating their viewpoint back also helps the other person to feel heard and respected. In conversations about disagreement, try to present the most positive aspects of the other person’s view: it helps both of you to find common ground.

Be curious, not opinionated

What is the person you are speaking to telling you that you didn’t know before? How do they see the situation? How are they feeling? Use your curiosity to ask questions about their ideas, hopes and fears. Teenagers, in particular, often feel misunderstood and “talked at” rather than listened-to, but demonstrating genuine curiosity can help them to explore their own experiences.

Don’t be afraid to ask whether a distressed person feels safe: this question can unlock conversations about escalating tensions at home, school or work, fear of (or actual) abuse, thoughts of self-harm, worries about a terminal illness etc. Talking about these fears won’t make them a reality, and it may also encourage someone to access more specialist support.

Give unwelcome news gradually

Rather than causing shock by blurting out news that is unexpected, begin by giving the background or (often better) by asking the other person to tell “the story so far”. For example, you could say: “I want to talk about Mum’s health. Tell me how you think she’s been recently … ”. That initial recap creates a space where the new, unwelcome information is less unexpected. Now you can add the bad news, beginning with: “I’m sorry to tell you … ”

Even if you are to blame in some way for the unwelcome news – such as in a breakup, for example – a stepwise approach to confessing bad behaviour or even ending a relationship gives the other person an opportunity to anticipate the information and manage their response to it.

Sit with distress without trying to ‘make it better’

It’s not a bad thing if strong emotions are expressed during a difficult discussion: don’t try to close them down by offering reassurance or advice. Be a quiet companion to those in distress; if they cry or rage, or fall helplessly silent, stay present and validate what they feel. Useful phrases include: “It’s OK to feel like this”, “I’m sorry this is so upsetting” or “I’m glad you can talk about this with me”.

A condolence visit may involve listening to sorrows and “what-ifs”. A sick relative may want to discuss end-of-life wishes or regrets. Your attention is far more helpful than platitudes. Respect the fact that some things cannot be made better.

Don’t interrupt the silence

Silence is often where we do our thinking. We can support someone without interrupting their flow of thoughts by saying simple phrases that show we are maintaining attention: “Take your time”; “I’m not in a hurry”; “This needs some thought”. This is especially helpful when you can’t see each other – for example, during a phone call.

Respecting silence can be a challenge if there are several people in the conversation. You may need to be explicit, saying: “Let’s give each other time to think” or “I think we need a moment of quiet now”.

Support, don’t ‘fix’

We can disempower people by taking over – but if the solution was easy, they would have solved their difficulty by now. Instead of proposing ways to fix a problem, ask instead what solutions they have considered or what they would advise someone else in their situation to do. It’s surprising how often a person feeling completely stuck can tell you the great advice they would give a friend in the same position.

End on a positive note

Giving a time warning is helpful if you know one or other of you needs to finish the discussion soon. “Thank you” is a good note to finish on: even in a disagreement, giving thanks for their honesty and time shows appreciation and respect. Your disagreement need not become a ruptured relationship.

Look after yourself

If you are left feeling unsettled by a conversation, remember to treat yourself kindly. Some people take five minutes to walk outdoors or to focus on their breathing. These “mindful moments” help us to re-centre ourselves. Confidential debriefing with someone else can also be a helpful practice.

Don’t pick up the other person’s burden: the solution is for them to find, but compassionate conversation can help others to process their experiences. That is often help enough.

 

Original article here

 

 

 

 

04 Sep 2022
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Diet for a Hotter Climate: Five Plants That Could Help Feed the World

Over the course of human history, scientists believe that humans have cultivated more than 6,000 different plant species. But over time, farmers gravitated toward planting those with the largest yields. Today, just three crops – rice, wheat and corn – provide nearly half of the world’s calories.

That reliance on a small number of crops has made agriculture vulnerable to pests, plant-borne diseases and soil erosion, which thrive on monoculture – the practice of growing only one crop at a time. It has also meant losing out on the resilience other crops show in surviving drought and other natural disasters.

As the impacts of the climate crisis become starker, farmers across the world are rediscovering ancient crops and developing new hybrids that might prove more hardy in the face of drought or epidemics, while also offering important nutrients.

“You hear all the statistics like, ‘We’ve lost 90% of our varieties’. It’s only recently that I realized the greatest sadness isn’t that we’ve lost that diversity. It’s that we don’t even know that we’ve lost that diversity,” says Chris Smith, founder of the Utopian Seed Project.

Here’s a look at five crops, beyond rice, wheat and corn, that farmers across the world are now growing in hopes of feeding the planet as it warms:

Amaranth: the plant that survived colonization 

From leaf to seed, the entirety of the amaranth plant is edible. Standing up to eight feet tall, amaranth stalks are topped off with red, orange or green seed-filled plumes. Across Africa and Asia, amaranth has long been eaten as a vegetable – whereas Indigenous Americans also ate the plant’s seed: a pseudo-cereal like buckwheat or quinoa.

While amaranth leaves can be sautéed or cooked into a stir-fry, the seed is commonly toasted and then eaten with honey or milk. A complete protein with all nine essential amino acids, amaranth is a good source of vitamins and antioxidants.

In the Americas, Spanish colonizers banned the Aztecs and Maya from growing amaranth when they arrived on the continent. However, the plant continued to grow as a weed and many farmers saved amaranth seeds, passing them down for generations, until their descendants were allowed to grow it again.

Today, Indigenous farmers in Guatemala, Mexico and the US are collaborating to grow this drought-resistant crop. Like fonio, an African grain, amaranth is not a new crop, but one that is experiencing a resurgence as communities adapt to the climate crisis. “Everything that’s new was old once,” said Matthew Blair, a professor at Tennessee State University and co-president of the Amaranth Institute.

Amaranth has found its way into European kitchens, with Ukraine coming in as the crop’s largest producer on the continent.

Fonio: the drought-resistant traditional grain

For thousands of years, farmers across West Africa have cultivated fonio – a kind of millet that tastes like a slightly nuttier couscous or quinoa. Historically, fonio is considered to be Africa’s oldest cultivated cereal and was regarded by some as the food of chiefs and kings. In countries such as Senegal, Burkina Faso and Mali, fonio would be served on holy days, like at weddings and during the month of Ramadan.

Today, attention is increasingly focused on fonio for its resilience and health benefits. As the climate continues to change, fonio’s drought resistance and ability to grow in poor soil has made it a standout crop in water-scarce regions. It also has important nutritional value as a low glycemic, gluten-free grain – making it a good source of amino acids for people with diabetes or gluten intolerance.

While Europeans once called fonio “hungry rice”, European companies are now manufacturing their own fonio. The Italian company Obà Food helped introduce fonio to the EU in December 2018. And in the US, the Senegalese chef Pierre Thiam sources fonio from the aid organization SOS Sahel for his brand Yolélé, also the name of his cookbook celebrating West African cuisine.

Cowpeas: the fully edible plant

In the 1940s, more than 5m acres of cowpeas were grown in the US – the majority, as their name suggests, for hay to feed livestock. But long before cowpeas – also called southern peas or black-eyed peas – came to the Americas, they were grown for human consumption in West Africa. Although cowpea production has declined in the US in recent decades, the crop is hugely important in much of Africa. Nigeria is the world’s largest cowpea producer.

As scientists look for alternative crops, Blair said it was important to identify ones where the entire plant is edible. Although historically people have mostly eaten cowpeas’ seeds, the leaves and pods are also a good source of protein.

Because cowpeas are highly drought tolerant, they’re also a good candidate as the climate changes. At Tennessee State University, Blair is part of a team studying the introduction of cowpeas to Latin America, as an alternative to beans, like pinto and black beans, with similar flavor profiles that may soon become more difficult to grow.

Taro: adapting the tropical crop for colder climes

In the tropics of Southeast Asia and Polynesia, taro has long been grown as a root vegetable, not unlike the potato. But as rising temperatures threaten cultivation of the crop in its natural habitat, farmers in the continental US are trying to adapt the tropical perennial to grow as a temperate annual, because it cannot survive the cold of US winters.

At the Utopian Seed Project in North Carolina, founder Chris Smith and his team have been experimenting with tropical crops, looking for ways to help the plants survive the winter. Today, they’re growing eight varieties of taro, including ones sourced from Korea, the Philippines, Hawaii, China and Puerto Rico.

“We want to introduce taro because we truly believe that that will give us a more secure food system,” Smith says. “But the beautiful byproduct is that that also allows us to engage with foods that are traditionally from either Indigenous or peasant farming communities. And I think it really gives those traditionally underserved populations an opportunity to engage with the food system that they don’t usually get.”

Like fonio, amaranth and cowpeas, taro isn’t a new crop – it’s just new to the US food system. Which is why the Utopian Seed Project isn’t just learning how to grow taro, but also teaching people how to cook it. “These crops are just foods that are embedded in cultures around the world in a way that they’re not embedded here,” Smith said. “It takes work to build that community and desire for that crop.”

Kernza: the crop bred for the climate crisis

While many alternative crops are just plants that were grown somewhere else in the world generations ago, others have been cultivated specifically to withstand climate change.

In the 1980s, researchers at the Pennsylvania-based Rodale Institute identified a wheat-like grass called intermediate wheatgrass as a perennial cereal crop that could be developed as a substitute for annual grains like wheat. The goal was to minimize the environmental impacts of grain production.

In 2019, the Kansas-based Land Institute, a non-profit research organization focused on sustainable agriculture, introduced Kernza, a cereal crop developed from intermediate wheatgrass and trademarked to ensure farmers know they’ve bought seeds from the official breeding program. Although researchers are still working to improve the grain’s yield, farmers in Minnesota, Kansas and Montana are today growing nearly 4,000 acres of Kernza.

“Growers immediately understand the benefits of perennials on their landscapes,” said Tessa Peters, director of crop stewardship at the Land Institute, “and for those working in grain-producing areas, Kernza is very appealing.”

 

 

Original article here

29 Aug 2022
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All of Your Smart Devices Are Spying on You

At this point, it’s obvious that our smartphones and computers are data-leakers. Plenty of us now cover our laptops’ webcams (although we always forget about the mics), while our smartphones track our locations with us wherever we go. Unfortunately, these tools are so indispensable in modern life, we accept the privacy hit in order to function with the rest of society, and do what we can to keep our data secure.

However, it isn’t solely these infamous devices that intrude on our lives. Just about any device that connects to the internet poses some privacy and security risk to your life. Smart TVs, lights, refrigerators, vacuums, locks, thermostats, maps services, air conditioners, switches, even faucets: If it has “smart” in the title, it likely has a spying problem.

Not all risks are created equal, mind you, but it’s impossible to use a device designed by a third-party to reach out to another network without exposing yourself to some degree. What determines the degree, however, is both the intent of the maker of the smart device, as well as the unintended consequences of their work. I’ll explain.

Let’s start with the former: Any company that makes a device that connects to the internet, or that connects to a second internet-ready device, makes a decision on how to respect your privacy. Usually, the respect is minimal to none: It’s not surprising to discover that a smart device by default is tracking at least some data and sending it back to the developer, or sharing with third-parties for ad purposes.

Sometimes, we don’t know about these data leaks until they’re reported by whistleblowers, such as when we learned Apple contractors were listening in on people’s lives through snippets of Siri recordings. However, you can take a peek into at least some of the data devices and companies are stealing from you through the device’s settings.

Dive into the smart device’s settings

Most smart devices work by connecting to your smartphone, or more specifically, an app on your smartphone. That might be your smartphone’s built-in home app, like the Home app on iPhone or Google Home on Android, or a third-party app, such as Smart Life. Not only do these apps allow you to customize and control the many smart devices powering your smart home, they also contain the privacy and security settings your smart device’s developer shipped it with. And, boy, can these settings be telling.

I’ll offer myself up as an example for this piece. I don’t have too many smart devices in my home, but I do enjoy a series of smart lights. While I’ve had these lights and their connected third-party app for years now, I somehow never dove into the privacy settings to see what options I could adjust. The first option? “Data Analysis: Allow us to collect data related to product usage.”

Oh, sure. Fine. “Data.” Whatever that means.

When the description is as vague as this statement, my lights could really be handing over anything: The developer could simply be tracking when the lights turn off and on, or they could be recording anytime my phone connects to their network, letting them know when I enter my home and when I leave. Really, the scope is endless, and I don’t like it. It goes without saying, but this setting is now disabled.

Another setting I now make sure is turned off is, “Personalization: Allow us to recommend content to you through ads and notifications.” I have absolutely no need for this smart home app to take in my data and attempt to sell me ads based on my light usage. Bye.

From a privacy perspective, these settings pages are essential to comb through if you want to limit the amount of data you’re feeding your smart home. Don’t forget to check the systems setting for the app as well: On iPhone, for example, you need to go to the app’s name in Settings to find additional privacy settings, including network connections like Bluetooth, Local Network, and Cellular Data. If I could, I would disable all these connections for my smart lights, but then, unfortunately, I wouldn’t be able to adjust my lights from my phone, defeating the purpose. (Although I don’t give them my location, so that’s something, right?)

That brings up an important point, though: In order for many of these devices to work properly, you have to give up some privacy. It’s a feature, not a bug: Your smart thermostat, for example, won’t let you adjust the temperature on your way home from work if you can’t communicate with it from your phone. The same principle applies to any IoT device that needs a connection to another device to function.

If you don’t want to sacrifice that privacy, that’s totally valid, but a smart home likely isn’t the way to go for you.

Smart TVs are an exception, here, of course: They are the device, and don’t rely on a smartphone or an app to function. In that case, you’ll scroll through the settings on the TV itself to make sure your security it as tight-knit as possible. Pay close attention to settings that track everything you watch, known generally as ACR.

Of course, these settings pages aren’t tell-alls: Many devices likely leak data we don’t know about, and companies are more than happy to offer us no way to control it. However, if we’re going to commit to a smart home, the less data we hand over, the better.

Smart devices are targets for hacking

It’s not just privacy that’s a concern here, though: Smart devices also pose a risk to your security. Any device connected to the internet offers a gateway to hackers into your life. Consider how hackers were able to break into Target’s systems using the company’s smart thermostats as an entry point. Now think about the smart thermostat sitting in your living room: Even if the developer doesn’t mean to create a device that’s easily hackable, unpatched vulnerabilities in their code make it a possibility.

Even worse, consider the data hackers could snag depending on the device. Hacking your smart lights is one thing, but breaking into a smart speaker to listen in on all your conversations, or a smart camera to watch all your conversations is another matter entirely. Even something as innocuous as a smart light shouldn’t be ignored, since sophisticated attacks can use the smart light’s connections to break into your network as a whole.

If possible, keep your devices disconnected from your main network. If you can keep them only communicating with your phone, rather than the general wifi, that can help prevent these attacks (on an iPhone, that means keeping Bluetooth and Local Networks enabled and disabling wifi). However, since many of these devices require an internet connection to function, the best thing to do is go for reputable brands with a history of good security. That said, consumers aren’t often the targets of such hacks, but since it’s at least possible, it’s something to consider.

 

 

Original article here

25 Aug 2022
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The Sky Is Falling, But There’s A Net

Networks are the rule of nature; not the exception.

 

 

The story of fungi is the story of our essential unity. The more we understand and respect this third kingdom, the more solutions we’ll uncover for the many challenges that face us. It’s not surprising that we are latecomers to the discovery of the usefulness of mushrooms, because our encounters with them are very short; they pop up suddenly and then they’re gone. With plants and animals, by comparison, which are visible for weeks, months, years, the embodied knowledge we have of them is naturally much greater. Mushrooms can feed you and heal you, they can kill you, and they can send you on a spiritual journey. Then they disappear. It’s very hard to understand them, but understand them we must.

It doesn’t really help to tell people that the sky is falling or the soil is collapsing without some options for solving the situation. This is what fungi and mycelium bring to the table: They represent ecological remedies that literally lie beneath our every footstep. To take just one example, consider agriculture. The new standard for sustainability is “no-till” farming, a process that features minimal disturbance of the soil in order to maintain its ability to absorb water and sequester carbon. How does one do that? By keeping the mycelium intact and planting seeds that are dusted with mycorrrhizal fungi. Ten years ago, you couldn’t find a single bag of such seeds; now you can’t find any without it. Ninety percent of the soil now sold in garden centers is fortified with mycorrhizal fungi.

The qualities of these fungi have largely gone unnoticed in the past, but we are noticing them now. We’ve identified several hundred species and cultures that have different talents for solving a lot of environmental challenges, and that’s just the beginning. It’s a matter of matching those talents specifically with a targeted concern. And as we keep doing that, we are building what I call an arma-mentarium of solutions, which is unprecedented in our time. We can dial in solutions using fungi with specific skillsets to address many of the environmental challenges we face.

This has been my mission all along, and it turns out that a lot of my early ideas have proven to be factually correct and scientifically supported. When I do research experiments, I look for my biggest critics, often those working in universities, and invite them to prove me wrong. “Do this research on your own,” I suggest. “Design the experiment and the protocol, test the hypothesis, and get back to me.” Many of my most vocal skeptics have become big supporters.

And so, we shouldn’t underestimate the intelligence of nature and the many organisms that have evolved to this day. We are here today because of very smart choices made along the evolutionary path, and because of our ability to communicate with other species and enlist them to our benefit. And this doesn’t just work for humans. The communities of nonhuman species working together across the planet are the true architects of the ecosystems that maintain the circle of life.

Strength In Numbers

What’s been missing in the scientific conversation is the impact of the third kingdom, the mycelial and fungal networks. They are the foundation of the food web. Seventy percent of the biological carbon in soil is fungi, both living and dead. I’ve been attending conferences for years trying to engage the scientific community in acknowledging this vital piece of the puzzle, and it took a long time to register. Everyone’s looking above ground for solutions to our environmental problems. They’re looking at oil, at concrete, using mechanistic and conventional ways of thinking, without understanding that the biology of nature has already solved many of these problems. Unless we come to terms with our fungal underlords, our biological myopia may be the downfall of us all.

Humans indulge the idea that we are the highest species, the top of the food chain, and that the main purpose of the biosphere is to support us. But is this “highest species” worth protecting? This illusion of biological grandeur is the cause of our suffering because of the egocentricity it covers up. We’re still very much in kindergarten when it comes to understanding how to co-create a sustainable future for all beings — and all beings are necessary to make that future possible.

A core concept of evolution is that, through natural selection, the strongest and fittest survive. In truth (and scientifically proven), communities survive better than individuals, especially communities that rely on cooperation. Acting on such a principle, people want to give in order to receive, which I think reflects the power of an essential goodness. I see this as a major force of nature — that evolution is based on the concept of mutual benefit and generosity.

It’s certainly true in the world of fungi and plants and trees. Yes, there are negative influences in the human domain. We do have some bad actors. But I think their appearance reminds the majority that it’s far better to base our actions on the values we strive to attain, on the principles we want to carry forward into future generations. Who wants to teach their children to be greedy, mean, and violent? Benevolence, kindness, trust, forgiveness — the fact that these concepts exist is, to me, de facto proof that the evolution of life has been based on the concept of goodness.

Fungi build soil, which expands the carrying capacity of the ecosystem, and thus the capacity for adding biodiversity. The more complex your biodiversity, the larger your cast of characters, the more opportunities for plants and other creatures to collaborate on providing maximum benefit to all. It’s like anything else: the larger your selection pool, the more likely your successes. True wealth is not measured in material possessions but by the abundance of options and choices.

Mycology (the study of fungi) is capable of offering so many solutions. Yet the field is underfunded, underappreciated, and underutilized. I think this shows the chasm of knowledge we have to overcome. But it’s also a perfect opportunity to create an “integrative science,” building bridges of knowledge between researchers of fungal networks and other scientists to develop an applied mycology grounded in practical solutions. We need to be engaging fungi purposefully, because they are the agents of sustainability, they will give us resilience.

The Truth Of Our Interconnectedness

The problem we face today is that we live in artificial realities wherein we invent our own facts. The more artificial the reality (for example, “Climate change is a hoax”), the more divorced from the truth one gets.

These bubbles of false realities are often constructed to serve the interests of certain groups and people who are trying to hijack your consciousness. It’s like getting stuck in a video game. You end up believing in and playing by the rules of that game, but the problem is that those rules don’t apply outside the video game. Once you embed yourself in nature and start working in the real world, you’ll encounter a new set of well-established rules and a knowledge base that’s been tested for millennia. We won’t solve our most pressing problems unless enough people leave the video games they’re immersed in and fully reengage in the consciousness of nature.

We all have a deeply embedded yearning to experience nature. Can you imagine what someone would be like if they had never been exposed to the natural world? If their reality had been limited to bricks and buildings, to straight lines and asphalt? If that is your only view of reality, how many truly creative ideas can come from that?

Unfortunately, most people are, to some degree, ecologically impoverished, aptly coined the “nature-deficit disorder” by Richard Louv. But it’s not too late. We can still use our best technology and the tools of science to respectfully and humbly unlock nature’s secrets and reveal the depths of her knowledge. With fungi and mushrooms, we’ve only scratched the surface of how they work and what they know. There are literally thousands of unknown species, each with unique properties that may hold answers to the massive challenges we face.

Five or ten years ago, the idea that “everything is connected” sounded like New Age nonsense. Now it is less controversial, but we still need to develop more ways to show that this interconnectedness is real and that anyone can participate in a solution and have a meaningful impact.

A Time For Therapeutic Intervention

Like it or not, we’re actively involved in our evolution. The challenge is that we have to evolve faster because the problems we’re creating are eclipsing our ability to adapt. And if we don’t adapt and get ahead of this curve, we will lose the race and our species will instead simply race toward extinction. It’s happened to countless species before ours. I do think it’s a challenge we’re well-equipped to meet, but it will require a different mindset, a paradigm shift in consciousness that looks at everything holistically.

When you consider the webs of dark matter showing up in hi-tech scans of the universe, the webs of mycelium branching out through the planetary biosphere, the webs of capillaries in our bodies, and the neural structure in our brains — these, to me, are central to this new paradigm. It’s all connected, it’s all co-evolving. Networks are the rule of nature; not the exception.

 

 

Excerpted with permission from Fantastic Fungi: How Mushrooms Can Heal, Shift Consciousness, and Save the Planet, the companion book to the acclaimed “Fantastic Fungi” documentary. ©2019, Earth Aware Editions.

Paul Stamets is the preeminent mycologist in the United States. He has discovered several new species of mushrooms, pioneered countless new techniques, published several best-selling books, and won numerous awards. Visit www.fungi.com

 

 

Original article here

22 Aug 2022
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The Swedish philosophy of lagom: how “just enough” is all you need

The night is going well. Everyone is laughing, and there is a happy energy in the air. The conversation flows easily and you’re the merry, relaxed kind of drunk. Then Josh swaggers over with a tray of something. Then you see what it is. Oh no.

“Time to do shots!” he shouts. You’re not sure, and you see others aren’t too keen either. But you don’t want to be a spoilsport. A grimace and a cough later, and the night changes. You feel sick, the room is spinning, and within a few minutes, everyone is too drunk to talk.

There comes a point when a thing becomes too much. If you’re not the outgoing, drinking sort, you could replace the opening example with something else. It might be at the end of the meal when that final slice of pizza turns you from “comfortably full” to “ergh”; when the car karaoke goes from being huge fun to a throat aching chore; or when that Tarantino movie you’re liking so far still has another two hours to go. Anything in excess becomes miserable, even the good things in life.

The fact that humans have unquenchable thirst and insatiable appetites is not new wisdom. It’s found in early Vedic texts, in Ancient Greece, and in most of the world’s religions today (most starkly in Buddhism, Hinduism and Jainism. But in the Swedish idea of lagom, it has been given fresh life.

It’s an idea that might change how you see your life.

Just the right amount

Lagom translates as “just the right amount.” It means knowing when enough is enough, and trying to find balance and moderation rather than constantly grasping for more. Lagom is that feeling of contentment we all get when we have all that we need to make us comfortable. It’s neither a millionaire’s splurge in Vegas, nor a pauper’s cold winter night. It means having a roof over your head, food in your belly, friends at your back, and money — just enough money — in your pockets. If Goldilocks had a catchphrase, it would be “let’s lagom this bear house.”

There are two separate strands to lagom. The first is a kind of social awareness that recognizes that what we do affects other people. In this, we might see lagom more as a kind of “fair use” policy. If you take three cookies from the plate, two other people aren’t going to get one. If you hoard and grab everything you can, elbowing and cursing your way to the front of the line, then at best, that makes you a bit of an ass. At worst, it leaves others in ruin.

The second strand, however, is a mental shift that finds contentment in satisfaction. Many of us have internalized the ideas that bigger means better, that a bank balance means status, and that excess means happiness. Lagom, though, is to enjoy the “just right.” It’s not simply learning to “enjoy the simple things,” but also appreciating that sometimes less really is more. Lagom is knowing that enjoying the now of what you have does not mean you need to add more of it. After all, talking to a friend over a coffee is nice. But meeting with ten friends after ten coffees does not make things better. Lagom is to accept this and to let the fact deepen.

Applying lagom to your life

So, how are we to apply the Swedish principle of lagom to our lives? The great thing about lagom, as opposed to more ancient texts or religious homilies, is that it has an obvious practical value. It can apply to any type of person living any type of life. Here are just a few examples to start us off.

Work-life balance. It’s very easy to focus on only one part of life — work, love, family, health, play — that we end up ignoring or under-developing another part. Spending an entire month hiking and bonding with your brother might be great family time, but it probably won’t go down well with the boss. The Swedes, though, tend to be much more attuned to a sense of balance. They often will allow generous, regular breaks into their workday; they will go outside when they have been inside for too long; and so on. A “fulfillment wheel” is a way to measure balance across different aspects of life. Lagom is to be well-rounded and to take pleasure in that.

Exercise. The fitness industry has worked a clever narrative into our collective unconscious. It’s one which says that a $50-per-month gym membership, sparkly and expensive new shoes, and a bank-bruising personal trainer shouting at you to hop around and swing on ropes are the best way — the only way — to get fit. The lagom approach is to recognize that a walk is enough. For most people, regular trainers and a $5 T-shirt are enough to go running. Belly dancing, star jumps (jumping jacks), YouTube Zumba, and gardening are perfectly viable ways to get your exercise.

Staying in is the new going out. I’m sure your childhood is sprinkled with great holiday memories and brilliant getaways, but chances are that your fondest, deepest memories were those spent simply at home. You do not have to pay lots of money, or travel for hours, to have fun. A cheaply cooked meal, some old-worn pajamas, and an unashamedly rubbish movie is “just enough” to have fun.

There are countless other ways we can apply lagom, from how often we see our friends to how much we buy to living sustainably. But the profoundest element of lagom is simply to rest and relax when a thing feels good. Simple pleasures do not mean simple humans.

 

 

Original article here

18 Aug 2022
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Everything We See Is a Mash-up of the Brain’s Last 15 Seconds of Visual Information

Our eyes are continuously bombarded by an enormous amount of visual information – millions of shapes, colours and ever-changing motion all around us. For the brain, this is no easy feat. On the one hand, the visual world alters continuously because of changes in light, viewpoint and other factors. On the other, our visual input constantly changes due to blinking and the fact that our eyes, head and body are frequently in motion.

To get an idea of the “noisiness” of this visual input, place a phone in front of your eyes and record a live video while you are walking around and looking at different things. The jittery, messy result is exactly what your brain deals with in every moment of your visual experience. This can be seen also in the video below. The white circle on the right shows potential eye movements, and the blurry blob on the left reveals the jumpy visual input in every moment.

Yet, seeing never feels like work for us. Rather than perceiving the fluctuations and visual noise that a video might record, we perceive a consistently stable environment. So how does our brain create this illusion of stability? This process has fascinated scientists for centuries and it is one of the fundamental questions in vision science.

The Time Machine Brain

In our latest research, we discovered a new mechanism that, among others, can explain this illusory stability. The brain automatically smooths our visual input over time. Instead of analysing every single visual snapshot, we perceive in a given moment an average of what we saw in the past 15 seconds. So, by pulling together objects to appear more similar to each other, our brain tricks us into perceiving a stable environment. Living “in the past” can explain why we do not notice subtle changes that occur over time.

In other words, the brain is like a time machine that keeps sending us back in time. It’s like an app that consolidates our visual input every 15 seconds into one impression so that we can handle everyday life. If our brains were always updating in real time, the world would feel like a chaotic place with constant fluctuations in light, shadow and movement. We would feel like we were hallucinating all the time.

We created an illusion to illustrate how this stabilisation mechanism works. Looking at the video below, the face on the left side slowly ages for 30 seconds, and yet, it is very difficult to notice the full extent of the change in age. In fact, observers perceive the face as ageing more slowly than it actually is.

To test this illusion we recruited hundreds of participants and asked them to view close-ups of faces morphing chronologically in age in 30-second time-lapse videos. When asked to tell the age of the face at the very end of the video, the participants almost consistently reported the age of the face that was presented 15 seconds before.

As we watch the video, we are continuously biased towards the past and so the brain constantly sends us back to the previous ten to 15 seconds (where the face was younger). Instead of seeing the latest image in real time, humans actually see earlier versions because our brain’s refresh time is about 15 seconds. So this illusion demonstrates that visual smoothing over time can help stabilise perception.

What the brain is essentially doing is procrastinating. It’s too much work to constantly deal with every single snapshot it receives, so the brain sticks to the past because the past is a good predictor of the present. Basically we recycle information from the past because it’s more efficient, faster and less work.

This idea – which is also supported by other results – of mechanisms within the brain that continuously bias our visual perception towards our past visual experience is known as continuity fields. Our visual system sometimes sacrifices accuracy for the sake of a smooth visual experience of the world around us. This can explain why, for example, when watching a film we don’t notice subtle changes that occur over time, such as the difference between actors and their stunt doubles.

Repercussions

There are positive and negative implications to our brain operating with this slight lag when processing our visual world. The delay is great for preventing us from feeling bombarded by visual input every day, but it can also risk life-or-death consequences when absolute precision is needed.

For example, radiologists examine hundreds of images in batches, seeing several related images one after the other. When looking at an X-ray, clinicians are typically asked to identify any abnormalities and then classify them. During this visual search and recognition task, researchers have found that radiologists’ decisions were based not only on the present image, but also on images they had previously seen, which could have grave consequences for patients.

Our visual system’s sluggishness to update can make us blind to immediate changes because it grabs on to our first impression and pulls us toward the past. Ultimately, though, continuity fields promote our experience of a stable world. At the same time, it’s important to remember that the judgments we make every day are not totally based on the present, but strongly depend on what we have seen in the past.

 

 

Original article here

 

 

15 Aug 2022
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Keeping Fit: How to Do the Right Exercise for Your Age

The effect of exercise on health is profound. It can protect you from a range of conditions, including heart disease, type 2 diabetes and some cancers. But the type and amount of exercise you should do changes as you age. To ensure that you are doing the right type of exercise for your age, follow this simple guide.

Childhood and Adolescence

In childhood, exercise helps control body weight, builds healthy bones and promotes self-confidence and healthy sleep patterns. The government recommends that children should get at least one hour of exercise a day. As a tip:

  • Children should try a variety of sports and develop skills, such as swimming and the ability to hit and kick a ball.
  • Lots of non–scheduled physical activity is great, too, such as playing in playgrounds.

Exercise habits tend to steadily decline during teen years, particularly in girls. Getting enough exercise promotes a healthy body image and helps manage stress and anxiety. You can also:

  • Encourage teenagers to keep one team sport, if possible.
  • For teenagers who are not into team sports, swimming or athletics can be a good way to keep fitness levels up.

In Your 20s

You are at your absolute physical peak in your mid-20s, with the fastest reaction times and highest VO2 max – the maximum rate at which the body can pump oxygen to muscles. After this peak, your VO2 max decreases by up to 1 percent each year and your reaction time slows each year. The good news is that regular physical activity can slow this decline. Building lean muscle mass and bone density at this age helps you retain them in later years.

  • Vary your training and keep it fun. Try tag rugby, rowing or boot camp.
  • If you are a regular exerciser, get advice from an exercise professional to build “periodisation” into your training regime. This involves dividing your training regime into progressive cycles that manipulate different aspects of training – such as intensity, volume and type of exercise – to optimise your performance and ensure you peak for a planned exercise event, such as a triathlon.

In Your 30s 

As careers and family life for many intensify in their 30s, it is important that you maintain cardiovascular fitness and strength to slow normal physical decline. If you have a sedentary job, make sure you maintain good posture and break up long periods of sitting by forcing activity into your day, such as routing your printer to another room, climbing a flight of stairs to use the bathroom on another floor, or standing when taking a phone call so you are moving every half an hour where possible.

  • Work smart. Try high-intensity interval training. This is where bursts of high-intensity activity, up to 80 percent of your maximum heart rate, such as sprinting and cycling, are broken up with periods of lower-intensity exercise. This kind of workout is good for the time poor as it can be done in 20 minutes.
  • For all women, and especially after childbirth, do pelvic floor exercises, sometimes known as Kegel exercises daily to help prevent incontinence.
  • Diversify your exercise programme to keep it interesting. Try boot camp, spin class or yoga.

In Your 40s

Most people start to put on weight in their 40s. Resistance exercise is the best way to optimise calorie burning to counteract fat accumulation and reverse the loss of three to eight percent of muscle mass per decade. Ten weeks of resistance training could increase lean weight by 1.4kg, increase resting metabolic rate by 7 percent and decrease fat weight by 1.8kg.

  • Try kettlebells or start a weight-training programme in your gym.
  • Take up running, if you don’t run already, and don’t be afraid to start a more intensive exercise programme. You get more bang for your buck with running versus walking.
  • Pilates can be useful to build core strength to protect against back pain, which often starts in this decade.

In Your 50s

In this decade, aches and pains may crop up and chronic conditions, such as type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease, can manifest. As estrogen declines in postmenopausal women, the risk of heart disease increases.

  • Do strength training twice a week to maintain your muscle mass.
  • Weight-bearing exercises, such as walking, is recommended. Walk fast enough so that your breathing rate increases and you break a sweat.
  • Try something different. Tai chi can be excellent for balance and relaxation.

In Your 60s

Typically, people accumulate more chronic conditions as they get older, and ageing is a major risk factor for cancer. Maintaining a high level of physical activity can help prevent cancers, such as post-menopausal breast cancer, colon cancer and cancer of the womb, and it reduces the risk of developing chronic conditions, such as heart disease and type 2 diabetes.

Physical activity tends to decline with age, so keep active and try to buck this trend.

  • Try ballroom dancing or other forms of dancing; it’s a fun and sociable way to exercise.
  • Incorporate strength and flexibility exercises twice a week. Aqua-aerobics can be a great way to develop strength using water as resistance.
  • Maintain cardiovascular exercise, such as brisk walking.

70s and Beyond

Exercise in your 70s and beyond helps prevent frailty and falls, and it’s important for your cognitive function. If you have a period of ill health, try to keep mobile, if possible. Strength and fitness can decline rapidly if you are bed bound or very inactive, which can make it hard to get back to previous levels.

  • Walk and talk. Instead of inactive visits from family and friends, go for a walk together. It will keep you motivated and boost your health more than solitary exercise.
  • Incorporate some strength, balance and cardiovascular exercise in your regime. But get advice from a physiotherapist or other exercise professional, especially if you have several chronic conditions.

 

The main message is to keep moving throughout your life. Sustained exercise is what benefits health most.

 

 

Original article here

06 Aug 2022
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Clay As A Remedy

 

The four essential elements offered to us from Earth — earth, air, fire and water — have tremendous healing power.

Clay is of the earth element and retains the planet’s electromagnetic energy. It is a purifier — like fire, water and air — despite the fact that it is dirt! Healing with clay connects us to Earth’s forces and creates a reciprocal relationship. As we become healthier humans we have more passion and energy for tending to the planet.

Clay is considered by some to be alive because of its instability and tendency to transform its chemical and physical components over time. While clay is not a cure all, it is a natural remedy that can have an enormous impact on body mind and spirit when used in a variety of different ways. Potters, for example, experience a unique healing effect of clay through its willingness to “listen.”

When you push or pinch, clay responds. The inherent nature of clay is to move as instructed, pliable at the creator’s hand. Some potters describe this as a reconnection with the forces of nature, a spiritual connection that permeates the soul, the physical body, the whole self. An amazing thing to witness is a room with 8-10 kids and wheels going. At times, you can hear a pin drop because the clay is so mesmerizing. Working with clay is incredibly therapeutic.

Physical Therapy and Arthritis

Physical therapy and art therapy are two treatment modalities that have long recognized clay as a source for client restoration. Simply working clay in your hands is great for arthritis or any other malady that requires keeping the hands moving without calling for any sort of skill or expertise. It is also recognized as a great medium with which to work through emotional crisis or troubles through the art of sculpting, with or without intention.

Clay As Meditation

Try this clay meditation when you want to get grounded. Take a hunk of clay and chose one of the following: pinch, poke or smear. Give yourself 15 minutes and do this one activity to the clay. You can use different fingers or even body parts getting creative but stay focused on not straying away. Let’s say you chose poking. Poke with one finger at a time, then two, then three, etc. Poke softly, poke with gusto, poke in a straight line, poke at an angle, but be careful you don’t start pinching! When your time is up journal about the experience. What came up, how did you feel, was it pleasant? Often times the most beautiful creations come from these meditations without intent.

Varieties of Clay

There are thousands of different kinds of clays, each unique in its mineral content determined by geological location and the weathering that has occurred. Some clays are suitable for eating (bentonite), other clays are suitable for industrial use, and still other clays are used to bathe in or apply to the body. Clay is a term used to describe an earthy, mud-like sediment composed of very fine particles of minerals, pliable when moist and hard when dry or fired. Clay differs from mud in its particle size and purity. Mud generally has more “debris” in it and does not have the same stickiness or retain its shape as clay does.

Clay is created during the cycle of rock formation. When magma cools it becomes an igneous rock. One of the most abundant igneous rocks is granite. When granite decomposes it breaks down into feldspar, quartz, mica, potash and kaolinite, which is also known as “pure clay.” There are many classifications of clay, including primary and secondary clays. Primary clays are found at the site of the “parent rock” and secondary clays are clays that have moved and changed due to ice, water flow and weathering. As the secondary clays travel, they can pick up and leave behind different minerals resulting in thousands of varieties depending on its location and what has happened to it. Some good places to search for your own local clay are in riverbanks, ocean shores, or construction sites.

A Natural Detoxifier

Clay’s healing impact on the body has been known for thousands of years and used around the world. Rich in minerals, clay provides two benefits: it pulls toxins out of the body and it also re-mineralizes. Clay is used in skin care products because of its pulling power. It is the best way to provide a deep pore cleanse. Clay baths are used to pull toxins, heavy metals and chemicals through our largest organ — the skin.

Clay’s natural pulling power results from its negative ions seeking the positive ions found in toxins, which either adsorb to the surface or absorb into the clay. Poultices and packs made with clay are used on bug bites, bee stings, headaches, burns and more, pulling the poisons or toxins out and helping the body to healer quicker. I once had the privilege of giving a clay footbath to a very, very sick woman. As she soaked her feet, she said it felt wonderful to squish her feet around in the mud at the bottom. She felt so relaxed and pampered. We were both amazed at the toxins we found at the bottom of the bucket that the clay had pulled through the skin on her feet!

Eating Clay

Usually when I mention eating clay, most people imagine taking a hunk of clay and chewing on it. Thankfully this is not how it is done! Most health food stores carry clay in powder or liquid form. It is mixed with a glass of water for drinking and, in most cases, doesn’t taste like much. Eating clay can be beneficial for many disorders such as diarrhea, parasites, ulcers, allergies, anemia and more, as clay contains minerals and energy that our body’s defense system needs.

Ideally, clay should be taken to build immunity so that if you are exposed to a contagious illness or if you are approaching a time of lowered resistance, your defense system is prepared. How much clay to eat and how often is determined by individual needs and what goals are being accomplished. For long-term use, 1 tablespoon mixed with water once or twice a day is a good guideline to follow.

Earth has provided us with a powerful natural medicine — itself! Clay is sacred; honor Earth and you will be honored with receiving its wonderful energy.

 

 

Original article here

29 Jul 2022
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Why Do We Find Making New Friends so Hard as Adults?

If you’ve ever tried to make new friends as an adult, you’ll probably see why loneliness is at an all-time high. Making new friends feels just plain hard.

In school, making friends can be as simple as going on the monkey bars together. But as adults, making, developing and maintaining friendships can be much more difficult.

This matters, because we need friends. And while old friends are golden, nothing stays the same forever. Old friends move away, or have their time taken up by child-rearing or their careers. Without action, loneliness can quietly grow around you. It’s worth taking seriously, because evidence now suggests chronic loneliness can be lethal – the equivalent impact of 15 cigarettes a day on mortality rates.

It’s not just you, either. In many countries, loneliness is at epidemic proportions. And that was before COVID-19 made it much harder for us to see our friends.

The challenge of trust

Before COVID, around a third of Australians reported feeling at least one episode of loneliness. Since COVID brought widespread disruption to our work and social lives, loneliness has soared. Surveys now find over half (54%) of Australians report experiencing greater loneliness since the start of the pandemic.

As we reach for a new COVID-normal, it’s worth taking stock of your friendships – and assess whether you feel your social life is fine, or could use a little help.

When researchers interviewed adults about making friends in a recent study, the most important challenge cited was a lack of trust. That is, people found it harder to put their trust in someone new and fully invest in them as a friend compared to when they were younger.

Perhaps that’s why many people try to keep their circle of old friends as long as possible, given the trust they may have built up over many years.

Who found it harder? Women were more likely than men to say they didn’t make new friends easily because they struggled to trust others.

So what is it about adulthood? Well, as adults, we have greater self-awareness than children. While that is often a positive, it also means we’re more aware of the risks of being judged by others, of not being liked, of being rejected, and of being hurt. Or perhaps it just means we’ve been through high school and our 20s.

If we’ve had previous rejections as friends or suffered a breach of trust, we may find it harder to be trusting of others in the future. To trust a new friend means opening ourselves up and being vulnerable, just as we do in relationships.

Friendships need time

After the trust issue comes time. “Lack of time” was the second-most common reason people gave after “lack of trust” when asked why they found it hard to make friends as adults.

This won’t be news to many of us. When we have demanding work schedules, very involved family lives or a combination of the two, our time for investing in friendships drops. Even when we meet a promising new friend, it can be hard to carve out time to invest in it. This is a bigger problem for older adults, given most people find their obligations increase with age.

How long does it actually take to make friends? It shouldn’t surprise us that closer friendships take longer to build than casual acquaintances. US researchers have tried to quantify this, estimating it takes roughly 50 hours of shared contact to move from acquaintances to casual friends. To be a close friend? More than 200 hours.

What’s more, the hours you spend together need to be quality. While you may well put in the time with work colleagues, professional interactions don’t count for much. To develop a new friendship, you need personal connection. It doesn’t have to be an intimate conversation to strengthen a friendship. Casual check-ins and joking around can be just as important.

There are many other barriers stopping us from having the friendships we want. This can include having an introverted personality, health barriers, personal insecurities, or maintaining a formal facade and not allowing potential friends in.

Older people are more likely to cite illness and disability as a barrier to socialising, while younger adults are more likely to be stopped by introversion and fears of rejection.

How can we get better at making friends as adults?

It’s entirely possible to overcome these barriers as adults and build meaningful, long-lasting friendships. We don’t have to accept loneliness as inevitable. And while you might think everyone else is having a great social life, remember loneliness is widespread.

So how do you do it?

  • Build friendships for ten minutes a day

You don’t have to be climbing mountains or bonding intensely over a shared hobby to solidify a new friendship. If you put in ten minutes a day, you can maintain existing friendships and build new ones. Send a text, forward a meme, add to the group chat or give someone a quick call. Don’t get caught up on how much effort, energy and time goes into building friendships. Ten minutes a day may be all you need.

  • Make the most of any quality time

When you do get to properly spend time with a friend or acquaintance, make the most of it. Avoid distractions if possible, keep Instagram for the couch at home, and be present with your new friend.

  • Lean into your vulnerability

We’re often scared by the idea of being vulnerable. I think we should embrace it. Remember you are in control of how much you trust and how much you open up. If you struggle with trust, consider sharing personal information slowly, rather than all at once.

Yes, there is a risk in being vulnerable – but there is also the potential to connect on a meaningful level with another person who may very well become a good friend. And that is a fine reward.

 

Original article here

 

27 Jul 2022
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This Is What Happens to Your Brain When You Declutter Your Home

For many of us, decluttering serves as a sort of mental palette cleanser. Stressed out? Tidy your apartment. Unfocused and frazzled? Clear the mess on your desk. Down in the dumps? Reorganize your closet for a sense of accomplishment.

It turns out there’s plenty of science behind this sentiment. “Our brains can process information more clearly and efficiently in an organized space,” said Manhattan-based psychotherapist Dana Dorfman. “Human beings like to feel in control of themselves and of their surroundings. We prefer predictable environments that provide a sense of stability and calm.”

A deep clean can also help you let go of certain things—a particularly appealing benefit as we stare down 2020. “Possessions represent the emotions or experiences attached to them,” she adds. “A cluttered or disorganized accumulation of possessions may make it difficult to ‘move on’ from the past or live in the present.”

Whether you’re decluttering to start a new chapter or you simply appreciate an orderly apartment, here’s what you can expect from a mental health perspective.

After One Day

“On day one, people can experience a range of emotions—from overwhelming sadness to relief to invigoration,” notes Dorfman. But no matter what the nature of your project, she adds that you’ll most likely feel energized and motivated as the day progresses. Because organizing involves problem solving and decision-making, people feel a sense of mastery and accomplishment.

While the presence of a mess may overload all of the senses, it impacts the visual field most significantly. “When the visual field is cluttered, the brain must ‘sift through’ everything and weed out the interfering stimuli,” Dorfman explains. “Studies show that people experience a significant decrease in the stress hormone cortisol when items are removed,” helping you to feel more stable, clearheaded, and relaxed as you clean.

After One Week

Believe it or not, you may find yourself looking for your next organizational project after just seven days or so. “System creation can provide ongoing motivation—it builds on itself,” Dorfman notes. “If you design an entryway space equipped with a place for your coat, keys, and bag, you’ve mitigated future misplacements. The sense of mastery and competence prompts the mind to want more.”

With that said, your new lifestyle may take some getting used to, both on a personal and practical level. It can take time for the brain to adapt to a fresh environment and you just might forget where certain items are, for example. But there are additional benefits: “This change may require an updating of one’s self-narrative,” adds Dorfman. “If you’ve always identified as a ‘messy’ person, you may view your habits and capabilities in a new light.”

After Three Months

In addition to feeling less stressed, less overwhelmed, and more in control, sticking to an organizational system may lead to newfound feelings of capability and empowerment. “Conquering a procrastinated task like cleaning may remind a person that the anticipation is usually worse than the reality,” explains Dorfman. “This realization and resulting sense of competence can flow into other areas of your life.”

Above all else, most research indicates that it is simply beneficial to live in a consistently neat and organized space. Any steps you take toward curating a healthy environment for yourself are well worth the effort. That’s one compelling reason to do a deep clean and donate unwanted items before the year’s end.

 

 

Original article here