Spiritual teacher Don Miguel Ruiz brought The Four Agreements into Western awareness. A new thought author versed in ancestral knowledge, Ruiz says the agreements come from Toltec wisdom. The Toltecs were a pre-Hispanic culture living in central Mexico, talented artists and builders as well as warriors.
Don Miguel suggests a way of living with these four statements as guidance:
- Be impeccable with your word. I have been addressing this issue for a long time now, mainly because of my own personal experience regarding the power of words. Words are energy, and they have an effect not only in our minds but in our bodies. The energy of words is infused with the feelings that control us at the moment of saying them, and this is when we have to be aware of the vocabulary we are using when talking to others and to ourselves. Be kind. Of course this doesn’t mean that you can’t be strong when the situation requires it. The point here is to be assertive, compassionate, but lovingly firm at the same time.
- Do not take anything personally. As human beings, we have the tendency to take any situation, comment or action in a personal way. This is normal, we value and take into account what others think of us, what others say to us. However, let’s remember that we are unique beings, with our own path and not everyone might understand this. Then, without being condescending, let’s try to elevate ourselves from any harmful scenario created by others and continue to live our lives on our terms. Put everything into perspective and act accordingly.
- Do not make assumptions. We are all quick to judge, form ideas in our minds, and because they are there we take them as being true. This agreement invites us to pause before assuming something about a person or a situation, and try to gather more information before forming an opinion. Communication here is key, because is a good way to clarify events and ideas about others. As a solid principle, is much better to have an honest conversation with those involved.
- Always do your best. Life is not easy, however we can make it more pleasant and this involves a conscious effort of trying to do, and I would add, to be, our best. In his book, Ruiz sees this fourth agreement as the final step to incorporate and practice the three previous agreements. By being vigilant with our words, aware of our personal value, communicating well, we automatically will be doing our best.
The Four Agreements are really a code of conduct or behaviour. My experience with these kind of statements is that we read them, we find them inspiring, but then we move on to the next topic of interest. So how can we put the Four Agreements into practice with more ease, and make them relatable to us?
Along the many years of my spiritual path, I have come to realise that when I make these codes mine, I am able to practice them without effort. This is what I do and what I suggest you do:
- Change each statement from a command to first person, grammatically speaking
- Have them written where you can see them easily, for example in your phone and on your desk
- Repeat them aloud and in your mind
- When repeating them, feel their meaning in you as well
- When facing any situation, you will be able to remember them better and put them into action quickly.
To be more clear, the Four Agreements look like the following to me:
- I am impeccable with my word.
- I don’t take anything personally.
- I don’t make assumptions.
- I always do my best.
In this sense, when in the middle of a difficult situation, for example, I might say to myself: Veronica, remember, do not take anything in a personal way, or, I don’t take this personally.
In summary, and as a general rule, I encourage you to find your own unique way of putting the Four Agreements into practice. The approach I propose has worked wonders for me; I invite you to try it.
About the Author:
Veronica Sanchez De Darivas is Chilean-Australian, now living in the UK and a proud mother of teenage twins. A spiritual awakening teacher, bestselling author, pineal gland (third eye) activator and Certified Instructor for the Cyclopea Method, Veronica is currently the only instructor in the world teaching the Cyclopea Method in English.