For many years now we have been hearing that we need to love ourselves first in order to love others, which is true. However: how do we go about that without crossing the invisible line between real love and ego? I have come to understand that ego is a creative force, but we need to tame it and use it in a “humble” way that is beneficial for ourselves and for the people around us.
Years ago, I used to teach Spanish to executives and diplomats, and I remember that at our first class, one of my students said to me: “Veronica, I don’t want to learn about anyone else, so please show me how to use the word ‘Yo’ (‘I’ in Spanish) only.” I tried to convince him that this would not be appropriate; however, he was the client and I did what I was asked to do. A couple of classes later and after realising that living in a “yo” world was not really helping him to learn the language and communicate with others, this student asked me to incorporate the rest of the personal pronouns.
This experience showed me how caught up we are in ourselves and our sometimes big egos, which do not allow us to see beyond them and establish better relationships with others. However, this anecdote also showed me that we are capable of stopping, thinking, reassessing and start all over. In other words, we can control our egos when they become an obstacle — and these obstacles turn into a humbling lesson.
Growing up, I always thought that loving myself was inherent to who I was, independent of living through hard times in my life. Then I realised that not everyone thinks highly of themselves, and self-esteem is important when talking about ego. If I am always lowering myself, diminishing my own abilities, listening to other people’s harsh opinions and I am going out and about complaining about my life, my appearance, thinking that I do not deserve to be loved, then, from my point of view, there is a hidden ego inside me, waiting for the world to resolve my lack of confidence and self-esteem, without realising that I am creating those conditions for myself. Of course, I understand that life sometimes is hard and if we grow up in hard environments it is difficult for us to see another reality. However, we all have the same chances to change our lives.
How do I love myself with true love? Through my spiritual practice I have learnt that ego is a creative force that needs to be controlled to our own benefit. If I think that I am invincible and powerful, only identifying myself with this field of polarities and leaving behind my spiritual self and my connection to the Source, then I will be governed by my most obscure emotions and feelings — therefore, love will become a commodity, serving me little.
However, if I am able to elevate myself from any uneasy scenario by learning how to attune to my true origin, to what I call the Source (you can also call it, Great Architect, Archetype One, God, Origin, your choice) and getting that superior and pure energy to act in cocreation, then love becomes the greatest power of the universe, because it is not me acting alone in this field, it is the Source acting in me, through me, to produce goodness and impact the world in a luminous way, and this process is in itself a humbling and loving process. Seeing love as the glue that keeps everything in place, makes us realise that when we see ourselves in a bigger picture, being part of the One, connected to the One, we turn into radiant beings, loving ourselves and expanding this love to others in cocreation.
My mentor, the great Latin spiritual leader Fresia Castro, says: “We have come here to learn how to create with love,” and my only goal now is to always be connected to the Source, receiving that love and expanding it, in a three-way current, in silence, in service to a bigger plan of ascension of consciousness.
About the Author
Veronica Sanchez is Chilean-Australian, now living in the UK and a proud mother of teenage twins. A spiritual awakening teacher, bestselling author, pineal gland (third eye) activator and Certified Instructor for the Cyclopea Method, Veronica is currently the only instructor in the world teaching the Cyclopea Method in English.