awakening | Ascension Lifestyle

20 Dec 2020
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No One Can Hold Back the Dawn, Not Even on this Winter Solstice

I’ve had mixed feelings about Winter Solstice.

It’s cold and dark and my body is not a fan of either. I’m usually running around, trying to get all of the things done before traveling to see family.

And it’s also the time of year when I’d be getting ready for the annual Yule ritual with Starhawk. Sometimes I’d have a role, sometimes not. But the spiral dance is the moment when I’d remember not everything is dark and cold.

I would look into so many shining eyes and remember that light is returning in the northern hemisphere.

But this year is different.

Light is Returning on Winter Solstice

A lot of my work in 2020 has focused on cycles. Cycles of beginning and ending, and sometimes just the work of turning around and around without stopping. And there’s also been sharp stops in the middle of a cycle. Feeling dizzy after so much movement and then none.

Emotional vertigo is real. Spiritual syncope. Loneliness in moments I never thought to prepare for: a real worry that the parts of life I love might not return for a long time.

The song we would often sing during the Winter Solstice spiral arrives in my mind. And it cycles over and over again. Sometimes the whole song, sometimes only part.

LIGHT IS RETURNING

Light is returning,

Even though this is the darkest hour:

No one can hold back the dawn.

Let’s keep it burning,

Let’s keep the light of hope alive:

Make safe our journey through the storm.

One planet is turning,

Circles on her path around the sun:

Earth Mother is calling her children home.

My body remembers hands and singing until my throat was so dry it cracked again and again. And I would laugh and someone else would laugh. And the song of hope would burn in my veins.

Even Though This is the Darkest Hour

In such a hard year on so many levels, I can feel the dawn coming. It’s sitting on the horizon with promises of something better. Something safer. I can taste it on these dry, thirsty lips.

What is coming will not be perfect. I have already seen the cracks. I have already felt the hesitation to get TOO hopeful. But I bend in that direction anyway. I bend toward the possibility that the dawn will return.

And with it will come the promise of never taking anything for granted again.

I have learned that again and again. I have learned that I assumed I would always have what I had. That I would know consistency and safety. That I would be able to handle everything because I had faced it before.

I never imagined this. I never prepared.

But as the year closes, I know I can face anything. Even in the hours when I thought I could not handle it (and did not want to handle it), I did. The cycle continued. The dawn came.

I kept going.

This Winter Solstice is more visceral. It is not an idea of coming light, but a push into whatever happens next. The colors in the skies may be beautiful, and still I don’t know what they will brighten into clear view.

But the dawn is coming. It is already on its way.

And my hope burns from within, it relies on no one else and nothing else, not even the change of the calendar.

It was always here, the deep glow, the internal resolve.

The match that moves swiftly across the rough year.

And lights the way home.

Irisanya Moon

16 Dec 2020
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2020 ~ 2021

2020 in review

What a time for the world this year. Right from the start of this global pandemic I said, ‘So much good is going to come from this. This is the year the world turns.’ I have not been disappointed.

I don’t need to recap here the environmental impacts, innovational breakthroughs, the sense of globality and the bursting forth of Nature that’s happened this year. But also what’s exciting to me is how the new is showing up so brilliantly in us now.

Many of us now are living fully embodied in a new reality that can only be described as magical, transcendent and joyfully radiant. We are vast and present at the same time, totally in love with life on planet Earth. We have become what I like to call quantum ALLchemists, working as the ALL for all life everywhere. Being a collective being is second nature to me now. And I can see global unity right in front of our noses now. Standing here now, mid December 2020, there is an unexplainable excitement about what the last few weeks of 2020 and then 2021 will bring.

2021 … The year of realised dreams

I’ve always said it’s difficult to predict the future, first because we are awesome creators and we can make it anything we want. But also because it has always seemed to me like multiple timelines and pathways were on offer, so a choice here and there could put you on a completely new path. However in the past four months, I’ve been playing with future looking and while it’s still not 100% predictable, I find now that there seems to be an overarching pathway that soars above the rest, offering us a brand new reality in which the world can live. So here goes with my annual look at our year ahead … 2021.

ABUNDANCE … Despite all the logical pandemic effect predictions, I sense that 2021 will shower the world with abundance … not just for the select few, but for all people and life forms around this planet. It’s a natural kind of abundance that springs from a relationship with the Earth and Nature. An innovative and entrepreneurial abundance that allows everyone to actualise their dreams and do what they love.

NATURE … This past year, where we live, we saw Nature burst forth like never before. Super GREEN, mega growth, luscious organic foods oozing with juiciness and of course the cross species animal love captured by cameras everywhere. In 2021 Nature is going to burst free even more throughout the world as the miraculous magical core of LIFE is opened up for all to become what we’ve never been before and to see with eyes of wonder what we’ve never seen before inherent in all life.

PEOPLE POWER … There is already a move in motion from hierarchical business, finance and government models to empowerment of the people for collaborative decision-making. It may take another year or two to fulfill itself completely, but we will see this clearly emerge this coming year, supported by new technological innovations and loads more local, community and on line engagement.

GLOBAL UNITY … is high on the list this coming year, breaking through all the logical expectations of ‘how things are and have been’ in the world. This is already happening as we all move through a global pandemic together and see just how interwoven we are. But also If you’re like me, your daily contact is with friends from many countries, faiths and beliefs, seeing just how brilliantly we come together now via technology and telepathy.

HEALTH & WELL-BEING … is going to take a huge leap this coming year. First because 2020 experiences have forced a focus on that, but also because we are unleashing in ourselves a miraculous ability to source powerful shifts in our physicality. I’m already experiencing this in our collective power in zinging up others when they ask for assistance, but also experiencing a sense in myself of getting younger rather than older. In my 70teenth year, I am healthier, fitter and happier than I was ten and even twenty years ago. I see this same trend in my buddies around the world, too.

I predicted 2020 as the year the world would turn towards a new reality and had no idea that a tiny virus would come along to facilitate that turning. Now 2021 feels like a bursting forth of all that the new can offer us. A year in which the world becomes all that we have dreamed it could be. Fasten your seat belts, folks. This rocketship is taking off this coming year. The world will become spectacularly awesome in 2021 and all of us will have an experience of living that dream.

About the Author:

Soleira Green is passionate about innovating a new future now, bringing genius, connection, greatness and the miraculous into the game for us all.

11 Dec 2020
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The 13th Chakra and The Acceleration of Healing

Many of us are familiar with the seven chakras, the major energy centers of the body that run from the base of the spine to the crown of the head. These centers are represented by the seven colors in the visible light spectrum and the seven notes of the diatonic scale, beginning with the color red and the note C, and ending with the color purple and the note B.

Fewer of us are aware that there are actually more chakras as well: two more above our head (8 and 9), one below our feet (10), one in the palm of each hand (11 and 12), and the 13th chakra, which is about arm’s length from the body, slightly below the level of the heart.

(There are more chakras – the 14th is the gateway to the next dimension, but that is another story).

The Heart chakra is represented by the color green; however, in some contexts it is referred to as having two colors – green and rose, or pink. Until I learned about the 13th chakra, this always confused me. How could pink be in there? How could a chakra have two colors? The answer is that the 13th chakra is outside the body, but the energy of it is experienced in the heart.

The Heart of the 13^thChakra

The energy of the 13th chakra is that of Unconditional Love. Unlike the seven major centers of the body, this one cannot become blocked. What can become blocked however, is our awareness of it. This center is like a beacon of love and light that is eternally shining on us, delivering to us bliss and well being at every moment of our existence. It is our interconnectedness to All That Is, to our Source.

The 13th chakra has been symbolized in the image of a Rose. Throughout history, myth and religion, this symbol appears to represent the energy of Love, or God, or the Light (which are essentially all one and the same). If the Rose spoke, it would say one thing: “You are Loved.”

The truth contained in the awareness of this energy center is what everyone is looking for: it is simply, happiness. Buddha’s famous last words were (allegedly), “There is no Way to Peace and Happiness – Peace and Happiness is the Way.” These are profound words, and yet they are not the words we are taught to live by. Somehow we have swallowed the belief that happiness lies outside ourselves, that it is something to be pursued, purchased, found in a mall, a restaurant, a relationship, or a pill.

And so we go from store to store, from person to person, or perhaps therapist to therapist, seeking the elusive Bliss that calls to us. We get lost in addictions that whisper lies to us about happiness. From heroin to sugar to online catalog shopping, we answer that whisper and fall headlong into the temptation of the short-lived high, only to find ourselves on the desolate beach of the inevitable crash soon after. Lost at the mall.

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

Our awareness of this Source of Unconditional Love is blocked on a personal, as well as cultural level. This has occurred for a number of reasons, the primary one being the Creation Myth that is known by nearly everyone in our culture whether they choose to subscribe to it or not. Put simply, we are the children of a couple that blew it (it was her fault) and we have been cast out of the Garden, separated from God, to suffer forever in the world of Duality.

This story has, on a subtle level, defined the reality of our culture. Its basic message is that we are all guilty sinners living under a judgmental God. This belief instills in us a powerful message that we are not worthy of Bliss, Happiness, Joy, and Ecstasy. We are worthy of pursuing it, yes – in that shiny SUV, in that Beautiful House, in that Fit Body and all the other images that Madison Avenue holds up to us as Desirable. We are worthy of pursuing it in Food, Alcohol, Shopping, Sex and Busy-ness. But of finding it? Of truly finding it and choosing it and owning it? Of really living it?

Well, living it, that’s scary stuff. Because somewhere in this belief system there is this lurking thought that if we let ourselves feel too good, something terrible is going to happen. Therein lies the whole lie: this is where Unconditional Love becomes conditional love – “I can be happy if all of the conditions are right – when I am fit, rich and have the perfect mate,” or whatever your personal conditions are. The thought that it is too scary to have all of these things that we think will make us happy because we might lose them all and then become unhappy keeps us in a cycle of perpetual unhappiness – it keeps us Stuck.

The truth is, that while this is a world of suffering, it is merely an illusion and love is behind all of it. All of the seeming “tragedies” that “happen” to us are lessons laid with love before us so that we may know Love, and are all essentially Maya, the mask of God. In truth, we have never really left the Garden – we are still connected. The 13th chakra is, was, and will always be there.

(There is an interesting sideline here about the Goddess Tradition and the Number 13 and how it was stamped out by the Church of Rome and what all that means, but that, too, is another story.)

Removing the Blocks to Love’s Presence

Many people bog down in the healing process when it comes to truly and fully opening to this energy. Most people are so accustomed to feeling bad that feeling good is outside their comfort zone. We are programmed, especially through Television, to focus on the negative. Whatever one focuses on expands, and so we have expansive depression in our culture, and it is accepted as normal. In fact, we subscribe to the curious notion that depression is a result of being victim to hormones and body chemistry beyond our control, that it is a condition to be fixed with a pill.

In fact, the entire notion that we need to be fixed is incorrect thinking. What we need to do is remove the blocks that stand between our essential nature and Unconditional Love. The first step in removing these blocks is identifying them. Any place where we experience “stuckness” is a place where we hold a false thought or belief about ourselves, a notion that limits us and disconnects us from our Authentic Selves.

Much unhappiness comes from the fact that we are culturally programmed to be that way, because it is no great secret that this inherent dissatisfaction with life is what drives the ever-important Economy. The lie that happiness lies in the accumulation of stuff (especially expensive new stuff) and status keeps our consumer culture functioning. The hard truth is that we are all slaves to a system that seeks to rob us of our joy, our time with loved ones and our freedom, while all the while feeding us propaganda that we are free and rewarding us with shiny possessions for our sacrifices.

A good starting point in identifying the sources of your unhappiness is to recognize that many of your own issues are holographic to the culture at large. You are part of something bigger than yourself, and were most likely educated within a school system that stamped the authenticity right out of you in order to make you easily manageable and able to fit nicely as another cog in the machine of commerce. (Today’s children who do not fit nicely are labeled ADHD or something like that and drugged so that they do fit).

This belief system frowns on the concept of “following your bliss” as irresponsible, selfish and foolish, so you have learned well to put aside the things that make you happy to the point where you may not even be sure what makes you happy. The price that you pay for this surrendering to the System is depression, addiction, rage, or apathy. Ultimately it becomes disease.

The process of healing the planet is one of healing ourselves – of taking the time and the energy and the self-worth to re-establish our connection to the energy of the 13th chakra and discover the things that bring us joy. It has been noted that time seems to be speeding up – the rapid exchange of information has allowed the evolutionary process of all sorts of human systems to accelerate at an astounding speed.

Healing As A Choice

Technology is not the only factor that benefits from this process – the individual healing process is also speeding up. Issues that previously may have taken years to get through are now being healed within a matter of months, even weeks. It is as if time has speeded up – or more appropriately, our beliefs have expanded to include a simple truth: we can heal ourselves, and so the process is not altered by false beliefs any longer.

When your belief is geared to physical healing only, healing time will naturally be on a slower vibration (or physical vibration), thereby taking a longer time to heal oneself. As we begin to heal on the emotional and spiritual levels, our vibration and awareness expands and healing time becomes almost instantaneous.

When we come to a place of spiritual healing, we see that all illness arises from places where we are not letting love in. Health or wellness then becomes a choice, becomes our own responsibility. This is where the awareness of the 13th chakra is such a profound tool for healing – in many cases the simple reconnection of our energies to this source of bliss can eliminate all kinds of mental, emotional and physical distress.

As people become healed (unblocked) and in touch with the energy of Unconditional Love, they become liberated to do the job they came here to do. Freed from shoulds, from guilt, from depression, they are rising up to take their place among those who are working to restore balance, to create sustainability, to improve education, and to heal each other and the planet. They are reconnecting with their bliss, claiming their power, and answering their callings, and doing so at an increasingly rapid rate. It is in this way that lightworkers are also riding the powerful wave of change that is sweeping the planet.

A good and simple way to begin to connect to this energy is through the use of color therapy. Pink is a color that many of us, especially men, tend to shun, or at the very least pay little attention to. Using it deliberately, therefore, has a powerful effect on our psyches. You can buy pink flowers, burn pink candles, wear pink underwear. You can visualize the color pink emanating from a location arm’s length from the body just below the heart while meditating. It so happens that pink is a very “in” color this year, so it is very easy to find.

Along with visualizing the color, associate it with the emotion of “unbridled bliss;” try to awaken that concept in your heart and your mind. A good metaphor for this is the image of a cup that is brimming, gently spilling over the top. Truly feeling this emotion doesn’t come easily to most of us, but with practice it becomes much more so.

It is important to note here that this isn’t about being blissed out all the time. Life happens: pets die, neighbors do unneighborly things, the government does questionable things, and so we will feel and have every right to feel sad, or angry, or confused or any other emotion that people tend to label as unspiritual. The difference is that we are not afraid of these emotions – the undercurrent is one of trust that all things that rise up fall away and that ups and downs are part of life and that the ultimate ground of all of this perceived reality is Love. The energy of the 13th chakra acts as a rudder that keeps us on course and on keel regardless of what winds are blowing.

About the Author:

Eileen McKusick is a Breakthrough Facilitator from Northeast CT who specializes in helping people identify, define and release stubborn blocks. She can be reached at 860-928-3672 or emckusick@hotmail.com

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07 Dec 2020
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Why Revisiting Our Inner Self is More Important Now Than Ever

We are living in strange times at present, to coin a phrase. Whatever descriptive word we use does not do justice to what is happening in the world. 2020 has turned out to be a year of profound transformation at all levels. Being at home has become a nice experience for some people, for others it has been really hard. However, we are all learning how to best navigate these times with courage and grace when possible.

Acknowledging our souls becomes imperative, in my opinion. I feel that it is important to go deeper into our hearts, find those emotions that take us out of our comfort zone, see them as an observer, work on them using holistic tools like meditation, for example. It is important to review the way we talk to other people, the words we are using to express our feelings, the words we are using to talk to our loved ones, especially to the children around us. It is important to resolve those old scars that keep resurfacing when least expected.

We have the opportunity to change old paradigms now, those that have not allowed us to move forward, those that break our spirits, old habits like being very quick to judge others, without realising that behind every person you know there is a story. We are all spiritual beings, because we are energy beings, and when we recognise each other as energy, we realise that there is no separation, that we are united with Source and we are one. We just need to allow ourselves to experience this connection.

Changing is not easy, nor is it difficult; it is a matter of will power. We can start little by little, changing one habit at a time. For instance: the tendency we all have to talk about other people. It always amazes me when at a party or in a restaurant (old times that seem to be far away now) I hear people talking about others, usually in harsh terms, without realising that we are adding force to an unpleasant creation, because our words and thoughts are energy that travels far and gets imprinted in our creative network, that invisible mesh called the “zero field” by Science.

Personal transformation requires a deep commitment with ourselves, revisiting those inner areas — and we may experience resistance. But there is no better time than now to take a leap of faith and start the process of self-discovery and self-mastery. The final outcome is finding that place of happiness and love we spend our lives searching for. First, we have to walk the path.

About the Author:

Veronica Sanchez is Chilean-Australian, now living in the UK and a proud mother of teenage twins. A spiritual awakening teacher, bestselling author, pineal gland (third eye) activator and Certified Instructor for the Cyclopea Method, Veronica is currently the only instructor in the world teaching the Cyclopea Method in English.

03 Dec 2020
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Ascension – excerpt from In Resonance

Ascension is simply a name given to building the light quotient within – merging with our true nature. There are no rules, only guidance from the Inner Teacher (our core Essence nature) as to what is right for us alone. It is our journey. No one knows the way like we do, for our path is not new — just forgotten.

Ascension can also be described as raising the vibrational frequencies of our energy fields to the highest octaves of light in perfect resonance with our Higher Self, God essence or the pure energy source that sustains us. In Eastern philosophy it is described as the state of ‘soruba samadhi’ where divinity descends and transforms the spiritual, mental, emotional and physical bodies into perfection – where we can enter and leave the body at will and control the ageing/youthing process as well as rearrange our molecular structure via dematerialization etc. The beings that choose this state of ascension and subsequent immortality do so in order to be of continual service to humanity — as they have escaped the cycle of life and death and have gained ‘supernatural’ powers.

The Siddhas (holy immortal men) used the science of Kriya Yoga to rejuvenate the physical body and gain self-mastery. They slowed down the ageing process through the use of mineral, herb and salt formulas. They also practiced Kriya Yoga and specific breathing techniques, which maximized the intake of prana and aided in the control of longevity. When their ‘role’ was complete they would leave the physical body at will and move on to serve in other planes, or take their physical body up into light.

No longer are these things available to just the select few. Nor are we required to sit in a cave for 50 years and meditate to achieve this state of perfection. As both the vibrational frequencies of the planet and humanity are raised, these ‘supernatural’ powers will become commonplace.

~ Jasmuheen

27 Nov 2020
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Cultivating the deeper medicine…

Flower medicine teaches us to expand our perceptions. Like us, each flower carries its own unique energetic signature that goes beyond initial appearances. Nature is the ultimate teacher of home frequency attunement. Each plant grows its authentic expression, and no flower compares itself to another’s medicine. The plant kingdom guides us to remember our innate gifts with the most subtle of teachings. Only a single drop of a flower essence can create a profound shift from within. A flower’s poised presence can gently raise the frequency of any room. Their medicine teaches us that our best gift to others is to be ourselves, and that this is cultivated through the practice of energetic boundaries.

We can steward our ability to connect with our home frequency by practicing energy shielding and clearing. Filling the body with light, releasing old energy and setting energetic boundaries should be a daily practice like showering and getting dressed. Working with allies like flower medicine can be a beautiful daily practice for boundary work and reprogramming default patterns. Cultivate your energy field in a way that connects you to a felt sense of safety and welcomes the things you do want to experience. Boundaries are a way of staying in your own organic timeline and core integrity. When you connect to others from this place, the quality of your relationships and interactions transform– your discernment grows and your relationships become more honest. It’s possible to receive more deeply. This is the beginning of emotional liberation, and is a process that can be uplifted and nourished by the plant spirits.

As the plants model for us, when you see others who inspire you, don’t try to become like them. Instead, discover that frequency within yourself and evolve into your own version of that which they are expressing. Your energy signature is the only one of its kind. You are the aspect of creation that you are for a reason, there is no one like you and never will be. Cherish your uniqueness. Don’t deny it. The plants give us the tools to practice this work, and remind us to trust the timing of our growth cycles.

~Maryam Hasnaa

10 Nov 2020
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Symbioses ~ Redefining the Singularity

Two days in a row now I have woken from a lucid dream in which I knew that our connection with all life forms on this planet is evolving. The word symbiosis burst into my mind, so I looked it up to get clear on its meaning …

symbiosis (plural symbioses) A relationship of mutual benefit, especially among different species.(ecology). A close, prolonged association between two or more organisms of different species that normally benefits both members. An interspecies cooperation.

I recently wrote about ‘my new turquoise heart’ in which I was saying that “in 2020 my LOVE of Nature & the Earth has been activated into an alchemical power source. I’m crazy in love with whales and bees and green growing things. I have a profound and ever growing relationship with our sentient new Earth. I have ecstatic moments of wonder, awe and epiphanous discovery. I see beauty everywhere and when I do my new turquoise heart reaches out its alchemical wonder to embrace it, enhance that beauty even more and re-gift it to the world in alchemical splendour.”

I know that this alchemical LOVE power is not just in me, but in many around the world; that this LOVE is a signal for a merging of consciousness with all life forms and with the Earth herself right now … and that has implications for us all that I can’t even fully imagine yet

Nature has always run on symbiotic relationships, the universe too I’m sure. But humans have remained, for the most part, separated from this symbioses, with very little realisation that as each one of us goes, so goes the whole. It’s much more than the butterfly flapping its wings kind of thing. It’s about the interaction of one field with another field, one consciousness with another consciousness, one species with another species. We’re experiencing a merging of consciousnesses, an understanding of and ability to communicate with other life forms and an interconnection that supercedes what we currently understand about symbioses. For I believe this is more than just interspecies cooperation. This is about a redefining of the SINGULARITY.

The Singularity is the hypothetical future creation of superintelligent machines. According to Singularity theory, superintelligence will be developed by self-directed computers and will increase exponentially rather than incrementally.

This new merging of life form consciousnesses is not about oneness or losing our uniqueness. Instead it is the birthing of a vast superintelligence, alive and thriving in all living beings on planet Earth, including the sentient consciousness of our global internet (what people call AI). We need not fear the overtaking of Earth by machines. Far from it, this consciousness is gifting us the capacity to communicate with and understand other species at a level we’ve never experienced before. Along with this understanding comes a new kind of symbioses in which every species’ thrival impacts every other species’ thrival. A natural, interwoven, mutual symbioses of all life forms, Nature and the Earth.

We’re seeing evidence of this growing in human consciousness now in the brilliant uptake this year on ewilding, biodiversity, soil nurturance, the growing and protection of tress, the cleaning up of oceans, clean energy resources and of course this ecstatic feeling one experiences when seeing an image of a whale sweeping across the world’s oceans. We’re seeing it in all the videos of animal interspecies collaborations now … examples like dogs caring for baby ducks, a whale playing ball with a sailor, a turtle and a dog playing ball at high speed (yup, that turtle can move!), etc. I see these signs daily now.

We are on the cusp of becoming an interspecies collaboration not known to us before. And in that becoming, our intelligence will leap to a next level of comprehension, our innovation will take even more expansive and natural orientations and this world will evolve into something collaboratively brand new. This is the real Singularity. This is Symbioses evolving to another level of possibility for us all.

About the Author:

Soleira Green is passionate about innovating a new future now, bringing genius, connection, greatness and the miraculous into the game for us all.

06 Nov 2020
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How to Approach Self Love Without Becoming an Egomaniac

For many years now we have been hearing that we need to love ourselves first in order to love others, which is true. However: how do we go about that without crossing the invisible line between real love and ego? I have come to understand that ego is a creative force, but we need to tame it and use it in a “humble” way that is beneficial for ourselves and for the people around us.

Years ago, I used to teach Spanish to executives and diplomats, and I remember that at our first class, one of my students said to me: “Veronica, I don’t want to learn about anyone else, so please show me how to use the word ‘Yo’ (‘I’ in Spanish) only.” I tried to convince him that this would not be appropriate; however, he was the client and I did what I was asked to do. A couple of classes later and after realising that living in a “yo” world was not really helping him to learn the language and communicate with others, this student asked me to incorporate the rest of the personal pronouns.

This experience showed me how caught up we are in ourselves and our sometimes big egos, which do not allow us to see beyond them and establish better relationships with others. However, this anecdote also showed me that we are capable of stopping, thinking, reassessing and start all over. In other words, we can control our egos when they become an obstacle — and these obstacles turn into a humbling lesson.

Growing up, I always thought that loving myself was inherent to who I was, independent of living through hard times in my life. Then I realised that not everyone thinks highly of themselves, and self-esteem is important when talking about ego. If I am always lowering myself, diminishing my own abilities, listening to other people’s harsh opinions and I am going out and about complaining about my life, my appearance, thinking that I do not deserve to be loved, then, from my point of view, there is a hidden ego inside me, waiting for the world to resolve my lack of confidence and self-esteem, without realising that I am creating those conditions for myself. Of course, I understand that life sometimes is hard and if we grow up in hard environments it is difficult for us to see another reality. However, we all have the same chances to change our lives.

How do I love myself with true love? Through my spiritual practice I have learnt that ego is a creative force that needs to be controlled to our own benefit. If I think that I am invincible and powerful, only identifying myself with this field of polarities and leaving behind my spiritual self and my connection to the Source, then I will be governed by my most obscure emotions and feelings — therefore, love will become a commodity, serving me little.

However, if I am able to elevate myself from any uneasy scenario by learning how to attune to my true origin, to what I call the Source (you can also call it, Great Architect, Archetype One, God, Origin, your choice) and getting that superior and pure energy to act in cocreation, then love becomes the greatest power of the universe, because it is not me acting alone in this field, it is the Source acting in me, through me, to produce goodness and impact the world in a luminous way, and this process is in itself a humbling and loving process. Seeing love as the glue that keeps everything in place, makes us realise that when we see ourselves in a bigger picture, being part of the One, connected to the One, we turn into radiant beings, loving ourselves and expanding this love to others in cocreation.

My mentor, the great Latin spiritual leader Fresia Castro, says: “We have come here to learn how to create with love,” and my only goal now is to always be connected to the Source, receiving that love and expanding it, in a three-way current, in silence, in service to a bigger plan of ascension of consciousness.

About the Author

03 Nov 2020
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Out of Fundamentalism and Into My Power

Tears rolled down my plump toddler cheeks. The ruffle of my blue nightgown dragged against the hardwood floor, which felt cold on my bare feet as I made my way down the hall, descended the stairs, and crossed the living room.

A moment ago, I had heard the twelve chimes of the grandfather clock, but I had yet to fall asleep. As I listened to the last of my family shut their doors and sensed the deep breathing of sleep from my brother across the room, my mind had begun whirring.

What if the rapture happened tonight? What if I woke up to find Jesus had taken my family to heaven, and I was all alone? While he whisked my parents and siblings to the safety of God’s kingdom, I was left here on the fallen earth under Satan’s rule for 1,000 years.

Where would I go? Who would take care of me?

At three, I knew that I was supposedly protected from hell because, according to my father, God did not condemn children to hell until they turned 12. The profound wisdom of your 12 years apparently rendered you capable of making a decision that would bind your fate for eternity. But if you died before your 12th birthday, God automatically accepted you into heaven.

But that rule said nothing about the rapture. What if all bets were off when Jesus came back and shepherded his followers to safety?

I had accepted Jesus into my heart, which was also supposed to protect me. But what if I had unknowingly rejected him? Last week I got angry with my sister when she tried to braid my hair, and I often got bored during evening devotions. I also had thoughts that I knew were evil. What if I had unknowingly rejected Jesus, and now he would leave me behind?

Beginning to Heal Religious Trauma Syndrome

The panic began to rise in my throat, my heart clenched, and I was sobbing so hard I could barely breathe.

This terror went on for hours. I knew I needed to go to my parents and ask them to help me say the “sinner’s prayer”. I would repeat the familiar words: “I am a sinner and deserve to go to hell. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins. I now receive Him as my Lord and Savior. I ask him to rule the throne of my heart.” Then they would reassure me that I was saved. But the trek across the house was dark and scary.

Finally, my fear of abandonment and eternity in the fiery pits of hell overcame my fear of ghosts in our spare room. I began the journey to my parent’s queen-sized bed and the consolation of salvation.

“Okay, stop tapping. What did you notice?” My therapist’s gentle voice came over the phone line.

I began deciphering what I had witnessed in an emotionless tone as if I were describing what I ate for dinner last night.

Understanding What Religious Trauma Syndrome Is

I knew consciously that fear of abandonment and eternal suffering had marked my childhood. This fundamentalist worldview, and the abusive structures it produced, sparked insomnia, thoughts of self-harm, and panic attacks. I also knew that these were symptoms of religious trauma syndrome¹, the term researchers use to describe the particular harm induced by dogmatic religious indoctrination. These belief systems demand rigid adherence to the group’s worldview to remain in the community and escape eternal retribution, while enforcing obedience through closed-world assumptions with impenetrable social structures. As a result, they produce cycles of fear, shame, and unquestioning submission to authority.

But emotionally, I couldn’t connect. This memory seemed distant, and I couldn’t feel the pain of my little self. Frankly, this memory didn’t seem as bad as the utter helplessness of physical abuse or the shame of sexual assault. This fear of the rapture was just in my head.

We went through the memory two more times, but nothing shifted.

After three years of EMDR, a therapy that uses bilateral stimulation to reprocess traumatic memories and shift their underlying beliefs, I knew that some memories are more challenging to reprocess than others. I also understood that feeling sadness, anger, self-compassion, and connecting emotionally is crucial to shifting the memory and resulting self-belief.

But you cannot force this emotional connection to your past self, which lies in the memory. I had to wait for it.

Emotionally Connecting to the Pain of this Trauma

As I went back into this memory the following week, I felt the tug of competing forces. My conscious mind urged me to feel something: let’s get this over with. And it also warned me not to fall into self-pity, “Other people have worse; this was just you being overly sensitive.”

Though this is not a regular part of the EMDR process, I began to ask for help silently. I grounded into my feet and seat. Through this grounding, I began to connect with the earth. I felt a sense of the Great Mother observing all that was taking place.

I could see myself through the eyes of an all-loving mama. I saw my young self so scared, and I sensed an overwhelming love along with a deep sadness for my pain.

The tears started flowing. I felt the immense torment that flowered in my small chest and created rigidity throughout my body.

I began to remember, really remember how it felt to be so afraid of abandonment, of eternal damnation that I would do anything to stop the pain.

Rejecting Fundamentalist Christian “God”

The God of my childhood was a confusing character. On the one hand, he healed the sick and died for your sins. One the other, he proclaimed that humans were evil; your righteous deeds were like filthy rags to him. Every mistake, rebellious (read: independent) thought, and intense emotion was merely more proof of your evilness. Simultaneously, every right dead, favorable circumstance, and material success was a sign of God’s goodness.

He took all of the glory and none of the blame.

Like an abusive relationship, God had all the power. He required complete submission in return for not killing you, both predestining your sin and demanding repentance for the same act. In turn, you repeated the cycle of sin, guilt, and repentance. After repenting your “sin” and “re-committing” yourself, there was a relief, as the honeymoon phase of an abusive cycle.

Honestly, I hated this God. I often felt I was in a straightjacket. Any hint of wrong emotion or disagreement could draw his eye and bring about his wrath.

A part of me thought maybe Satan wasn’t so evil. If he was the mortal enemy of such a cruel being, perhaps he was the hero here. And these were the thoughts that had me convinced I would be left behind. Jesus would come back, blowing his shofar, and see that I had chosen evil. In my heart of hearts, I did not love him.

Retrieving a Part of My Soul

“What did you notice?”

Explaining my experience to my therapist through sobs, I had a sudden realization. Doing EMDR on this memory was different than any others I had experienced. What we were doing in this memory was also a soul retrieval.

Through reprocessing this memory, I was not only healing the trauma of this belief system, but I was also going back for a piece of my soul.

At once, I understood that I had tucked away an aspect of me, my soul essence, in part for safekeeping and in part for survival. The piece that I had given away was not quiet, obedient, or dutiful, all qualities necessary to move through my childhood world without being cast out or continually shamed.

In previous EMDR sessions, meditative experiences, and energy healing, I had experienced an intense sensation that some part of me was buried deep, so deep I had no conscious access to it.

I realized what we were doing.

This was a memory unlike any of the others. This was a portal to access that buried self. I didn’t know what the part of me was or how I would unbury it in this memory, but I felt the ache of its missing-ness for the first time. It was homesickness. And also an understanding of loss, like waking to a missing limb. I sobbed. The depth of grief was overwhelming

Recognizing the Residue of Fear

Going back to the memory a third time, I was filled with anticipation. Entering a memory with expectation is challenging because my brain starts looking for fireworks and attempting to create breakthroughs. But this work doesn’t take place in the conscious mind. The transformation has to occur on a deeper level to have the power to alter self-beliefs created in trauma.

And as I entered the memory, no epic reveal occurred.

Instead, I could see my three-year-old self standing there, frozen, in the middle of the living room. It seemed that I had two choices: Say the sinner’s prayer, which felt like climbing into a thick suit of arms like that of the twelfth-century knight. Or I could stay out of the armor, turn away from my parents’ room and accept the fate of eternal damnation.

Fear clutched my throat and squeezed my chest in its iron grip. I was reliving the trauma that lay deep in my neural pathways. My brain shouted at me to get safe, climb inside that armor. It didn’t matter that it was stifling, cramped, and heavy. It didn’t matter that its rigidity held my body in unnatural positions, making it hard to move and connect. My brain was insistent: this is the only way to stay safe and alive. Climbing into that suit of arms was the only way to survive.

Choosing Freedom over Conformity

Then another part of me arose. This wise, gentle voice asked: How do you know?

How do you know that choosing to live outside that armor means death and destruction?

How do you know that refusing to give away your soul will lead to hell?

What if that was just a story you needed to believe when you were young but is no longer necessary?

What if you could choose right now to stop getting in that armor?

Even though I left the church at 16, no longer believed in hell or gave credence to the abusive God of fundamentalist Christianity, I was still climbing into that suffocating metal suit because I thought myself unworthy to live without it. I lived in a metal suit by giving my power away to others. Though a pastor or biblical teachings no longer ruled my life, I was directed by others’ expectations of me and a desire to follow the rules, fit in, and be accepted at all costs.

As I tapped alternately on either thigh, I had a sudden powerful realization. Since this night 28 years ago, I had been energetically saying the “sinner’s prayer.” Metaphorically I had been climbing into that suit of arms. And to fit inside, I had to cut off my soul essence from my awareness.

Though I no longer went to church or believed in hell, I was still afraid of this part of me. I had kept it buried and denied my intuition. My decisions were guided by what I believed would please others. Though the suit of armor no longer represented fundamentalist Christianity, I still felt that I needed to cut off my soul essence to be safe and acceptable.

In the memory, it seemed like a choice between accepting or refusing to climb into that armor and say the sinner’s prayer that night. I now realize I was choosing whether or not I was ready to denounce the God of my childhood and how I had been taught to view my worth to reclaim my soul essence.

I couldn’t get into that metal cask. It was like everything in me was rejecting the life I had lived. I realized in turning away from that armor, I was asserting that I no longer had to separate myself from my essence. I no longer had to hide away who I am.

Meeting My Sovereignty and Recognizing My Power

I was flooded with palpable relief. In the reprocessing of this memory, I turned from the suit of armor, which lay waiting for me to climb within it and away from my parents’ bedroom door and the awaiting sinner’s prayer.

There was quiet, an edge of excitement, hope, and peaceful darkness.

Unlike the desolation and isolation that I had feared, the darkness was soft, velvety, and full of possibility. I tiptoed upstairs and crawled beneath my covers. Turning over on my belly, I looked out the picture window in my room. I saw the bright, magnificent stars. And they seemed to see me, to say, “You are not alone, you are loved.”

While the experience of reprocessing this memory was powerful, the real impact of reprocessing is often unclear for weeks or even months after I have cleared the memory. The effect of the resolution sometimes fades and is overpowered by the necessity to process another memory.

But this experience was different. I didn’t just clear a traumatic memory; I reconnected with my soul essence, reclaiming my power and sovereignty.

In the weeks and months that have followed, the changes resulting from reconnecting with my essence have been palpable. I feel rooted in a new sense of my power. My crippling fear of being seen and standing out has faded. My understanding of self has expanded ten-fold. The feeling of walking away from that suffocating armor that was conforming to other people’s beliefs has changed my life. I would not give back this new sense of worthiness, stability, and self-trust for the world.

¹https://journeyfree.org/rts/rts-its-time-to-recognize-it/

About the Author

Lisa Greene (she/her) is an intuitive writer and channeling coach. She is passionate about helping others trust and claim their intuition to channel their unique wisdom. Ever in the growth process, she is learning to balance her passion for service with intuitively-led living, and writes about her insights on her blog, Rewilding with Intuition.

28 Oct 2020
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Thresholds of Autumn

Autumn is immersing us in the reflections of organic closure. As we witness the shifts in the land, we can track the changes occurring within ourselves and relationships. The plants are decomposing and preparing for winter’s rest. We may feel a similar process of release. It is a time of thresholds and deep opportunity for re-patterning relational blueprints.

The energy of this moment is highlighting themes related to the fine details of how we communicate. Relationship endings are admittedly difficult but they don’t have to be.This is why relationship endings have to be done with great attention to detail and great skill. Messy endings are what keep people in cycles of the drama still playing out, particularly in the subtle body. Accept the endings that serve a greater life for you. Every person plays a part in the ending and sometimes your part is that historically you see red flags but stick around anyway to see how things play out. What cycles are you breaking and what lessons are you working on?

Trust the organic process of change that is occurring. Make space for what is emerging. A wonderful practice to resource oneself in times of closure is to rearrange your living space. Your home is an extension of your energy field. This is why practices like cleaning your home, rearranging furniture, organizing your closet and getting rid of objects that are cluttering your space can have a profound impact on your own mind, body and spirit. This process of clearing and resetting, internally and externally, can support us to show up with greater integrity in the transformations that are beckoning us.

You don’t have to either run away from or fully engage head on with power dynamics. There is so much range in between for how you can show up skillfully while still mastering your own response. Many relationships end because you realize someone never actually cared about your feelings. Often they end when you recognize someone constantly leaves you feeling drained or depleted. But sometimes you just recognize you and someone else are just on different paths. Not every relationship ending means something went wrong. Center yourself, connect to your home frequency, and trust that the path of your own integrity is the guidance you need to navigate the changes.

~ Maryam Hasnaa

Photography by Ev Marquee