One of the first mistakes people make is searching for the happiness in the outside world instead of finding it within. Our dependency on other people’s opinion and the society’s pressure to fit into certain molds – can make us feel inadequate, lonely, and unlovable. What is worse, most people experiencing this stay quiet: they tumble through their everyday, never getting the love they truly deserve. No, this is not about romantic love: we’re talking about self-love. Feelings of unworthiness transfer to everything you do and their true danger lies in the fact they trigger a delusion they are a part of your identity.
Identity isn’t something that’s fixed and unchangeable. Our souls are fluid and fragile, constantly processing everything that’s put upon them and nobody is immune to that. Depending on the way a person has been raised and how the world shaped their identity, it can experience more or fewer difficulties to learn the essence of self-love. Sometimes, it is harder than one may think and while it’s easy to blame the world for it – you should take your share of responsibility. It’s easier not to do anything and indulge in self-pity instead of stop making excuses. Postponing this does you no good: start with three small steps.
The first step towards loving yourself is realizing you do have the right to be loved. Frequent disappointments in dating world can leave you thinking there’s something wrong with you. This attitude comes from not being at peace with yourself: you have to stop assessing your personal value through relationships with others. Instead of asking yourself – does he love me for who I am, try making it the other way around: do I love him for who he is? We often accept others’ love out of fear of loneliness. If it falls apart, stop blaming him or yourself. Some things aren’t meant to work out: what’s for you won’t pass you by. There is a higher force taking care of you.
The second step would be mapping out the reasons you feel bad about yourself. Too often we forget that the only thing standing in the way of achieving our dreams – are we alone. You have the power to change and you are in charge of your life. Life’s too short not the get the most of it. If you feel bad about traveling so little, figure out a way to save up some money and let the world lavish you with its beauties. If you have a weight problem that’s bothering you, take baby steps with workout regimes and healthy dieting. Try meditation: it is proven to rewire your brain and more importantly – it helps you connect with yourself and with higher forces. Align yourself with the universe. Only by being in harmony with yourself can you become one with the world. This feeling of peace and serenity will definitely shift your perspective about how you feel about yourself.
The third step is putting yourself out there. Expose your heart to new experiences. Do something you’ve never tried before, even if you think you are not going to like it. These adventures can reveal new sides of you that you didn’t even know they existed. They are the fuel for your transformation process as they push you outside of your comfort zone: it can be small things like signing up for a yoga class or doing something you’re scared of – skydiving perhaps? You are a unique living being that’s not taking the advantage of what the world has prepared for you. By daring to be brave and opening your heart to all kinds of love, you will learn to love yourself and accept the love you truly deserve.
Embrace the paradox that emerges from the following fact: you need to accept yourself, but you also need to be aware that only change is constant. Self-love is the cornerstone that makes you unapologetic about how you want other people to treat you.